19/08/2021
Part 1:
Recently I took my bicycle for a ride to a nearby forest. I’ve been longing for nature since quite some time now, though I haven’t had a chance to really get to it and scratch that itch. All the stress, everyday problems, issues at work and general downer in my brain took their toll, pushing me back into a corner once again. It went down completely the last 3 or 4 months, so this corner was nothing for me but a chance to push myself forcefully out of the situation I’ve been presented with at the time. So… that ride was supposed to last for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half, roughly 10 km of distance. Well – it took over 2 hours and over 30 km for me to actually get back home.
I took my time in a couple of places – one of them was this shrine in the middle of the forest. Maybe not the literal middle, but rather near the brink of trees, right where countryside grows, surrounded by crop fields. What struck me the most wasn’t the shrine itself planted in such a spot. It’s not that unusual, though this scenery did seem quite unique in a way, mostly because there really wasn’t any house in the near vicinity. It was how it looked and what surrounded it. It’s really difficult for me to describe it as a non-religious person (I could simply write “atheist” but I’m not speaking about beliefs), photos should really speak for themselves. All I can say is that I still don’t understand, hell, comprehend why religion in this country is so closely related to pain. I don’t mean physical pain but rather the way a lot of religious people act in terms of religion and how they interpret it. How deep must be the suffering to actually be called “Christian” in Poland, and probably not only here? Shouldn’t they be glad to be a part of this society? Is this the case of teachings in churches, overall scandals that’s been unraveled recently?
Those are rhetorical. I really don't want to know.
Part 2:
I don’t get enough workout most of the time. When I do, it mostly consists of typical weight lifting, pushups, and such. I’ve never felt good enough with my physicality, I’ve always felt slim and weak, even when my mind’s giving me thoughts that it’s completely opposite. Standing in front a mirror usually ends with me being let down of what I’ve become. It’s becoming a bit of a ramble right now, I know. But it leads to another thing. When I’m not weight lifting and want to have a bit of a workout, I go for a ride – like in the last posts’ description, I try and get a good distance done before I go back. Although most of the time I choose exhausting trails what makes me go on isn’t the fear that I won’t make it and will have to get back on foot. It’s the feeling of freedom.
Driving a car can be exhausting in a different way. You’re there, enclosed in a metal can, and even when driving through a forest or a desolated road that’s not what it should really feel like. Getting on a bicycle, having a listen to all the chirps, noises, trees rustling, tires rolling over a sandy trail – that’s what “brings me home” with my emotions. It brings me a peace of mind in between times when I don’t get a single moment to actually stop and listen to what my body tells me. And such, this shot is the very effect of this type of ride – I never would’ve noticed it in a car, nor would I really feel like going out and photographing… anything.