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I hope this speaks to you as much as it did to me while I was writing it. :) —PS: Plus points if you know which Bible pa...
23/07/2022

I hope this speaks to you as much as it did to me while I was writing it. :)


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PS: Plus points if you know which Bible passages inspired this post.

I’m sorry, and I love you.—It’s the cycle of the Christian walk.It starts with repentance, “I’m sorry.” This brings us t...
16/05/2022

I’m sorry, and I love you.
—
It’s the cycle of the Christian walk.

It starts with repentance, “I’m sorry.” This brings us to a relationship akin to both sonship and romance, where we taste and see God’s goodness as his children and as his bride (the church). It’s in this that we get to know him more intimately. We discover his beauty, his character, his love; and likely we fall deeper, “I love you.”

Suddenly, familiarity sets in.

We get comfortable in his acceptance and love. “He’ll accept me anyway, I can get away with it this one time.” The adulterer in us turns back to the ex-lover. The pleasures of sin suddenly taste so good. It doesn’t end in one time. And just like a parasite, sin takes more than it gives. So after the binge, we’re left empty, guilty, and ashamed.

But such is grace that God accepts us when we repent!

We say, “I’m sorry” and He welcomes us with open arms. He even prepares a feast! We bask in this grace and love. The intimacy sets in deeper. It feels permanent this time, “I love you.”

Yet the more we get to know him, the more we realize how sinful we are. We’re not necessarily doing what is wrong, but our hearts… Oh, our hearts are so fickle. “Woe is me!”

Why are our hearts so dirty? Satisfaction seems to only be found elsewhere. But we’ve tried what this world could offer and nothing ever satisfies! It feels confusing, frustrating and tiring all at once.

We fall back to sin, but our soul groans and fights against it. This time is different. There seems to be a stronger resolve to fight. We want to come back.

“I’m sorry. I love you. Please, help me.”

And just as faithfully as ever, he accepts us, reassures us of his love, guides us, and gives us the strength to endure.

So we endure.
For the rest of our days, we endure.
We wake up with fickle hearts, yet he is faithful.
We’re filled with doubt and fear, yet he is certain.
We don’t choose to love, yet he continues to love.

The cycle continues,
“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I Fought” (a poem)-On bruised knees and tear-stained pillows I fought,My hands stiff from being held together. Every em...
15/05/2022

“I Fought” (a poem)
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On bruised knees and tear-stained pillows I fought,
My hands stiff from being held together.
Every emotion and pain uttered in wordless groaning,
Coupled with sighs echoing from the depths of my heart.

The rails of my balcony know my every move.
It recounts every sword I swung to the air,
Fighting for the last of this dying hope.
And yet, it still lives. Why so?

The longer I endure, the more I’m out of breath.
Was it true when they said that in waiting I’ll renew my strength?
As time moves forward, the less I’m sure
But the One who is constant still reassures.

What am I to learn from this battle?
Every day a knife gets thrust into my chest.
I bleed for nothing. Just kill me already.
I’m tired.

And yet, hope lives. Why so?
With a crushed heart, in faith I fight.
Though the candle of this hope fuels a dying light.
A sigh leaves my lips, “Thank You. Good night.”

There’s an insecurity that plagues my heart: “Am I good enough?”I’m often quite bothered by the thought of not reaching ...
13/04/2022

There’s an insecurity that plagues my heart: “Am I good enough?”

I’m often quite bothered by the thought of not reaching a certain standard. Whether it’s a standard that’s self-imposed or set by culture, I’m often very hard on myself for not “being enough.”

But what really is being “good enough?” And will I ever even reach it?

I think about these questions in light of the fickleness of the world’s standards and think maybe not. Maybe I will not ever be good enough, at least by the standard that I’m setting for myself. However, in light of the Gospel– and some Christians will disagree with me on this– I am enough.

I am enough simply because Christ has chosen me. Without any merit, he has chosen to die on the cross for my sin, taking with him all my shame; and he opened the lines for me to have this renewed relationship with him. Not simply as a servant, but as a son– an heir! And it is by that standard that I am enough to achieve things and to have value. The Creator of the universe has looked at me in all my brokenness, gave me power to do excellent things for His glory and said I have worth, through His son.

It’s by this standard that I am enough.

I am enough to be effective in the areas he’s planted me in.
I am enough to make an impact in the lives of the people around me.
I am enough to say no to sin and temptation.
And I am enough to be loved.

Only through Christ am I enough; for apart from him, I am nothing.

Dear reader, if you are in Christ, take heart!
You, too, are enough– through Christ.
Always through Christ.

Let me describe how I feel.I feel like an Oreo without the filling, melted ice cream, or cold ramen.I’m a half-note off ...
03/04/2022

Let me describe how I feel.

I feel like an Oreo without the filling, melted ice cream, or cold ramen.
I’m a half-note off from what could’ve been a great symphony,
A plane ticket without a visa,
Or a game-winning attempt shot after the whistle has blown.
Just not enough.
And I hate it.

But, somehow, a part of me feels grateful.
Is that weird to say?
A part of me feels like, if I never felt this, I would be very arrogant.
I don’t want that.
It’s just that I don’t want to feel insecure as well.

If I could have the humility without the self-deprecation and the confidence without the pride, I would be so happy.
But there are just some days where I feel this way
Because I’m human.
I’m imperfect.
I’m broken.

It’s this brokenness that causes me to feel inadequate,
And the same brokenness that causes me to be haughty.
But I can be secure today
Because I have Christ.

In Christ, I can be confident because, through him, I have become a child of God.
In Christ, I am humbled because nothing I do can have eternal value apart from him.
And, in Christ, it doesn’t matter if I’m inadequate;
Because if he can feed a multitude with just five loaves and two fish,
How much more can he do through me?

That’s what’s up.

What are you holding on to?I’m sure something crossed your mind as you read that question. After all, the things that ar...
14/03/2022

What are you holding on to?

I’m sure something crossed your mind as you read that question. After all, the things that are dear to us often bring us the most comfort when we have them. Their presence invites some form of constancy in the uncertainty of life and that’s a nice feeling to have. It’s a security that many of us would love to take possession of for as long as we could.

But just as great as the comfort that these bring, is the void that they leave behind when they’re gone. It’s frustrating, confusing, and depressing all at once to be detached from the thing we hold onto so dearly. There’s so much bitterness that creeps in from losing what we once had possession of. And yet, there’s nothing you can do once it’s gone. It’s lost (perhaps forever) and you just have to live with it.
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A few days ago, a friend told me about the idea of “living life with an open hand.”

The concept is simple: when you accept that you can’t control what comes and goes from your life, you can live with gratitude for what you receive. When they trickle through your fingers, don’t hold on. Be grateful that they came and be ready to receive again.

Keep your hand open.

I’ve personally had to let go of opportunities, dreams, and relationships in my life. I realized that the world is relentless and that it doesn’t owe me anything.

What’s beautiful is that I still have something. Actually, I have more than what I deserve.

I have a family whom I love so dearly. I have friends who love me. I have mentors who look out for me, encourage, and support me in the things that I do. I have a business. And there are new opportunities coming my way. The fact is, I am more than blessed.

The world doesn’t owe me anything, and yet God has blessed me with everything. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. He is more than enough. Yet, God is so loving that he gave me more than enough.

For that, I can live life with an open hand. And even if things of this world pass through my fingers, I can be grateful that they came and went because I’m fully secure in what I have in Christ.

HOPE & HUMILITY-The beautiful thing about youth is the excitement of looking forward to what’s next. There’s this openne...
09/03/2022

HOPE & HUMILITY
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The beautiful thing about youth is the excitement of looking forward to what’s next. There’s this openness to discover new things and explore what can be. With youth, the possibilities seem endless and it’s always accompanied by the hope that something better is just around the corner.

On the other hand, maturity delivers its own beauty. With experience you learn to be accepting of what was, grateful for what is, and pragmatic for what will be. There’s a humility that comes with age that acknowledges that there are things that are simply outside one’s control and that is completely okay.

At 26, I’m privileged to be at the eclipse of these states of life. I’m young enough to hope endlessly, but old enough to be reasonable with my expectations. I’m still excited for the future, but I’m also learning to not fixate on it–– to savor every moment I have at the present because tomorrow isn’t assured. It’s a strange feeling, but the conjunction brings me to a plane of introspection that I haven’t had in a while. There are a million thoughts running in my head every day, but instead of being the muddy cloud of ideas they’ve been in the last two years of the pandemic, they’re clear. It honestly feels kinda weird.

Having said that, inspired by my friend , I have decided to start to express and share maybe some of the insights that I’ve been ruminating on these past years; as well as whatever insights brew for me in the future. I don’t really know what I want to achieve with this account, but it would be nice to have an outlet for these introspective thoughts.

Anyway, I’m excited about wherever this project will go and I’d be very grateful if you were with me for the journey.

Let me know, what’s up? [email protected]

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