17/10/2026
MEET THE TEAM BEHIND THE MADNESS!
I thought it was about time I introduced you all to the hardworking, dedicated, highly skilled and occasionally slightly unhinged team that keeps my businesses, family and life running.
We have quite a few departments, so grab a cuppa, get comfortable and bear with me...
THE CEO & BUSINESS OWNER
Caroline - Makes all the important decisions, pays all the bills and regularly wonders why she thought being self-employed was a good idea. Especially when she decided owning TWO businesses would be fun!
THE PHOTOGRAPHER
Caroline - Professional baby whisperer, toddler negotiator, dog entertainer and expert at making grown adults smile naturally. Also spends a ridiculous amount of time lying on the studio floor trying to get the perfect shot.
THE HAIRDRESSER
Caroline - Cuts, colours, styles, fixes DIY hair disasters and listens to everyone's life stories. Occasionally remembers she's supposed to be having a lunch break.
THE SALON OWNER
Caroline - Manages appointments, orders stock, pays the bills, cleans up everyone's hair and wonders why she thought running a salon alongside a photography studio was a sensible career move.
THE RECEPTIONIST
Caroline - Answers messages, emails, enquiries and phone calls for TWO businesses, usually while doing six other things and wondering which business the person is actually contacting.
THE BOOKINGS MANAGER
Caroline - Organises appointments, deposits, cancellations, rescheduling and regularly plays a thrilling game of calendar Tetris. Apparently, being in two places at once is still not physically possible.
THE CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Caroline - Comes up with wonderful ideas, gets ridiculously excited about them, then realises she's the poor sod who has to make them happen.
THE PROP & SET DESIGNER
Caroline - Buys things she absolutely NEEDS, rearranges the entire photography studio and convinces her husband to build things that definitely weren't mentioned in the marriage vows.
THE BABY ENTERTAINER
Caroline - Makes ridiculous noises, sings questionable songs, pulls faces that should never be seen in public and celebrates like she's won the lottery when a baby finally smiles.
THE UNQUALIFIED THERAPIST
Caroline - Knows everyone's secrets, relationship problems, family dramas and life histories. Offers tea, sympathy and occasionally some very questionable advice. All completely free with your haircut!
THE CLEANING DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Cleans up cake, baby sick, dog slobber, glitter, hair clippings and whatever mysterious substance has appeared on the floor. Nobody else seems to know where the hoover lives.
THE PHOTO EDITOR
Caroline - Spends hours removing distractions, perfecting photographs and questioning why she took 400 pictures of the same thing. Also has a very personal relationship with Photoshop, although they're currently not speaking.
THE IT DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Turns things off and back on again, swears at the computer, Googles things she doesn't understand and threatens to throw expensive equipment out of the window at least once a week.
THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Writes social media posts, updates websites, creates promotions and spends hours trying to convince Facebook that people might actually want to see them.
THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Sends invoices, pays bills, calculates expenses and cries a little when she sees how much photography equipment, salon stock and running two businesses actually cost.
THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Answers questions, solves problems, keeps everyone happy and patiently explains things that are already written on the website. Sometimes several times a day.
THE PRINTING & PACKAGING DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Prints, checks, packages and makes sure everything looks lovely before it leaves the studio. Occasionally wonders whether she should have bought shares in an ink company.
THE CHRISTMAS DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Starts thinking about Christmas while everyone else is enjoying summer. Spends months planning the Virtual Advent Calendar, then spends October questioning every decision she's ever made.
THE HEALTH & SAFETY OFFICER
Caroline - Makes sure babies, children, pets and parents are safe while silently panicking about expensive props being used as climbing frames.
THE STOCK CONTROL DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Orders hair colours, shampoos, photography props, cleaning products, packaging and approximately 400 other things. Has absolutely no idea where she's going to put any of it.
THE NAIL DEPARTMENT
Vicky - Our resident nail technician, who rents her desk from me and very wisely runs her own business.
She's the only other person in the building who isn't called Caroline!
Unfortunately, she doesn't answer my emails, edit my photographs, clean my studio, manage my diary or do my housework.
Honestly, I don't know what I'm charging her rent for!
Only joking, Vicky!
THE LANDLADY
Caroline - Rents desk space to Vicky, collects the rent and occasionally looks at her beautiful nails while wondering why her own hands look like she's been digging potatoes.
THE WIFE
Caroline - Occasionally remembers she has a husband, usually when something needs building, lifting, fixing or carrying. Fortunately, he's also the unofficial, unpaid maintenance department.
THE MUM
Caroline - Proud mum to Louise and Emily. After years of raising two daughters, you'd think the job would get easier as they got older.
Apparently not!
The job description has simply changed from feeding, dressing and school runs to being a 24-hour advice centre, emergency helpline, problem solver and occasional bank.
No annual leave, no retirement age and absolutely no chance of handing in my notice.
THE DOG MUM
Caroline - Proud mum to Coco, my gorgeous Sprocker, who is quite possibly the only member of the household who thinks I'm absolutely wonderful.
My responsibilities include feeding, walking, cuddling, entertaining, cleaning muddy paws and explaining for the millionth time why I can't spend the entire day throwing a ball.
Coco, meanwhile, contributes absolutely nothing financially, leaves hair everywhere, demands constant attention and sleeps whenever she likes.
Actually, now I think about it...
COCO HAS THE BEST EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT IN THE ENTIRE FAMILY!
THE FAMILY TAXI SERVICE
Caroline - Available for lifts, collections, emergency errands and general transportation duties.
Payment is occasionally offered in the form of a "Thanks, Mum!"
Fuel, insurance and running costs are apparently my problem.
THE FAMILY PROBLEM-SOLVING DEPARTMENT
Caroline - If something's missing, broken, forgotten, needs organising or nobody knows what to do...
Ask Mum.
If Mum doesn't know the answer, she'll somehow be expected to find it.
And if Mum asks for help?
Suddenly, everyone's very busy!
THE HOUSEKEEPER
Caroline - Apparently the washing, cooking, shopping and housework don't do themselves. Very disappointing discovery after all these years.
THE PERSONAL SHOPPER
Caroline - Buys everything needed for the businesses, house and family. Frequently forgets what she originally went shopping for but comes home with another photography prop.
THE SOCIAL SECRETARY
Caroline - Attempts to organise an actual social life around two businesses that seem to think they need her 24 hours a day. Has heard rumours that weekends and days off exist but has yet to find any evidence.
THE MULTITASKING DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Can go from photographing a newborn to cutting someone's hair, editing photographs, answering messages, ordering shampoo, walking Coco and cooking dinner, all while wondering what day of the week it is.
THE HR DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Deals with staff complaints, disciplinary issues, annual leave requests and workplace disagreements.
Unfortunately, every complaint comes from Caroline, every disciplinary meeting involves Caroline, and every holiday request gets rejected because Caroline can't find anyone to cover her shifts.
THE STAFF MEETINGS
Caroline - Talks to herself.
Vicky - Pretends she can't hear.
Coco - Sleeps through the entire meeting.
THE MENTAL HEALTH & WELLBEING DEPARTMENT
Caroline - Regularly tells herself she needs to slow down, take a break and stop taking on so much work.
Caroline from Management has rejected this suggestion due to staffing shortages.
AND FINALLY... THE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!
CAROLINE!
Every. Single. Month.
Not because she's particularly brilliant...
But because she's the only bloody person on the payroll... and even that's questionable!
So there you have it.
MEET THE TEAM!
One woman.
Two businesses.
Two daughters.
One Sprocker.
One husband.
One lovely nail technician who wisely works for herself.
Twenty-something job titles.
Several cups of coffee.
A permanently full to-do list.
A husband who keeps getting volunteered for DIY projects.
And absolutely no idea what a lunch break is.
But despite the chaos, the long hours, the never-ending jobs and the occasional urge to run away and join the circus...
I genuinely love what I do.
Well... most days.
Some days I'd quite happily sack the entire team.
Unfortunately, I'd still have to turn up for work tomorrow.
CURRENT JOB VACANCIES
Cleaner - desperately needed.
Receptionist - preferably one who can read my mind.
Photo editor - must understand my perfectionism.
Personal assistant - must be able to perform miracles.
Chef - because apparently toast isn't a balanced diet.
Dog walker - must be prepared to be bossed around by Coco.
Therapist - for the management team.
Holiday cover - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE!
Salary: £0.
Working hours: Whenever Caroline needs you.
Annual leave: What's that?
Staff benefits: Unlimited access to my sparkling personality and the occasional biscuit.
Applications now open!
And if you've actually read all the way to the bottom, congratulations! You've officially spent more time getting to know my team than I spend sitting down in an average day!
Now, if you'll excuse me...
Caroline from Management has just informed Caroline from Photography that Caroline from Hairdressing is running behind, Caroline from Accounts needs paying, Caroline from Cleaning has disappeared, Louise and Emily need Mum, Coco wants walking, Vicky is sensibly minding her own business, the husband has been given another building project, and Caroline from Home has absolutely no idea what's for dinner.
And apparently...
IT'S ALL MY BLOODY FAULT!
