21/06/2026
Things I’ve had said to me while working as a wedding photographer.
Most of the people who ask these questions probably don’t mean any harm. Some are curious. Some are trying to make conversation. But when you’re on the receiving end of comments like these, over and over again, they start to feel less like curiosity and more like a reminder that you’re being seen as “other”.
A question I often get asked, is why I don’t challenge it in the moment.
The truth is that, most of the time, I don’t feel able to.
When I’m working at a wedding, I’m there to do a job. It’s someone else’s special day. The last thing I want is to create discomfort or conflict. If I stop and ask, “Why do you ask?” or explain why a question is inappropriate, the mood can change instantly. Too often, the person being questioned becomes the problem, rather than the person asking the question.
Suddenly, I’m no longer the photographer doing my job. I’m the one making things awkward.
So I smile, I stay professional, and I move on.
But that doesn’t mean the comments don’t stay with me.
I don’t share this because I’m angry. I share it because many people don’t realise how often these conversations happen, or how exhausting it can be to navigate them while trying to remain professional.
Sometimes the most important conversations are the ones we never felt comfortable having in the moment.
ps. I am very proudly half Sri Lankan, half Scottish, and feel that having my Sri Lankan Queen soundtrack this, is everything 🫶🏽
