07/04/2025
Good morning / afternoon / evening, lovely people, depending on wherever you happen to be today. The weather here in Kirkintilloch is cloudless but an east wind is making it a bit chilly. Hopefully it will warm up in a day or so so I can get out in the garden without freezing. The atmosphere is bad enough in the house with the PMW mooching about with a face like the Witch of Endor on a bad day. For some time, I've been thinking about getting a garden shed with a comfy chair, a desk and wi-fi booster for the computer, my tablet and phone, a small fridge with enough space for a dozen or so beers and, most importantly, a padlock for the door. Perhaps it's time …
First the good news: the Williams left eyeball is now cataract free and is a perfect match for its right neighbour. My thanks go to Martin Armstrong and his brilliant team in the Ophthalmology Department at the Golden Jubilee Hospital in Clydebank. Over the years, I've had my issues with our national religion - otherwise known as the National Heath Service, the government-run behemoth designed and run on much the same lines as those which made such a resounding success of the erstwhile USSR - but these guys were the shining, professional, helpful, happy and friendly stars in the firmament as far as I'm concerned. Hats off, chaps and chapettes - and thanks for looking after me so well.
While I'm in a benign frame of mind, ta muchly to all of you who took the trouble to comment, quite extensively in some cases, on my last diatribe. A special mention must be made of the two or three of you who had "issues" with the political content of my spiel: not so much that they disagreed with it - although I suspect they probably did - but that they felt it had no place in a spiel accompanying a photograph.That, of course, is a matter for debate since the vast majority of responders appeared to like it. My guess is that the sensible ones recognised it as satire and not as serious political discourse. So what's the difference between the two? Think of the difference between "Religious Education" and "The Life of Brian" and that sums it up perfectly: they're both reasonably accurate depictions of the same people, the same things, the same historical period and the same problems, but The Life of Brian makes you laugh and the other one doesn't. At least it shouldn't, because some people take religious belief very seriously and, although I'm not one of them, that has to be respected. If they wish to believe that someone, who nobody has ever seen or is likely to see, created the world and all who lived in it in six days and then rested on the Sunday, who am I to gainsay that. Mind you, if there does transpire to be a supreme being who I have the opportunity to meet when I shuffle off this mortal coil, I'm almost duty-bound to have a word with him and tell him where he went wrong. FB-wise, perhaps I should display a trigger warning with every spiel like the ones I occasionally see on Sky Movies or Netflix: "This spiel contains examples of doubtful syntax, spelling errors, incorrect irregular verbs, outdated views and attitudes, and occasional outbreaks of profanity, satire and/or irony. Not suitable for American audiences". Why, I hear you ask? What's wrong with Americans? Nothing at all - apart from a few of them (no names, no pack drills) who have strange ideas - but they don't understand irony or satire at all unless they've lived in the UK for at least a year. If you haven't read the work of Bill Bryson, I suggest you do so because he comes originally from Iowa but has been living here for years and he gets it. Whenever he goes back for a visit, his good lady wife gets a bit iffy with him when he takes advantage of their unworldliness and overdoes it a bit more than he should. I'm afraid I'm very guilty of that with the PMW as, despite having lived with me for 45 years, she still gets occasionally lost, humour-wise, with both me and the boys - although they're hardly "boys" any more because they're both in their late thirties and have inherited more of my genes than their Mum might have hoped!
Talking of Freedom of Speech, which we weren't but we will now because it has taken on a slightly ominous character of late. We in Britain have had Freedom of Speech for over 500 years, enough so it's become part of the furniture, as it were. It's not absolute in that we have laws against Libel, Slander, Misrepresentation and suchlike but generally we can say what we like, to whom we like, as long as it's within the law. There are a few arcane exceptions in, say, the House of Commons (where you can't accuse someone of lying even though it might be obvious to everybody within 500 miles that the person concerned is lying through his bloody teeth), but, other than that, go for it! There are, however, two potential dark clouds on the horizon, the first of which comes from Mr Plod via the so-called College of Policing who, apparently, is responsible for telling policemen how to do their job. Back in the old days, as young Mark Littlejohn will be pleased to confirm, it was absolutely clear what their job was: to catch villains and, via the courts, sling the buggers in jail. Simple as that. Recently, however, a new "crime" was invented a few years ago: the Hate Crime, which referred specifically to a crime which was adjudged to have been motivated largely by hatred of something or of someone. Recently, the College of Policing has modified the law to make it clear that saying something to, or about, someone who thinks it's not a very nice thing to say, but which isn't actually against the law, isn't actually a crime. No sh*t, Sherlock, they don't pay you the big bucks for nothing, eh! Thus, we now have the "Non-Crime Hate Incident" which, in effect, not only diverts policeman from doing important things like catching villains and suchlike, but also is not particularly good for morale (and that, I've been told by them in the know, is an understatement of monumental proportions). Let me explain. In the event of one saying something which a nearby ear-wigger considers sufficiently dreadful as to merit being reported to the local Plod as a non-crime hate incident, the wheels of justice grind into motion. In days gone by, when policemen still had a modicum of common sense, a report of some half-p*ssed potty-mouth causing trouble at the annual dinner and dance of the Newton Mearns Bowls Club would be politely acknowledged, with thanks, and then surreptitiously binned before it could cause any unnecessary trouble. These days, when the wokery of the liberal left rules the roost, a phalanx of embarrassed policemen will, in the fullness of time when the potential NCHI can no longer be ignored, pitch up at your door wearing expressions that reflected their desperate hope for the earth to open up and swallow them before their leader, generally the one in plain clothes, got around to ringing the doorbell. There would then be a conversation between the plain-clothed one and whoever answered the door that they, the custodians of the law, wanted to discuss an alleged incident involving the commission of a non-crime hate incident. Furthermore, if asked by the bemused householder, they would not be permitted to reveal either the identity of the person who made the report, or details of when the report was made, or what it was about. Apart from that, could they come in for a chat? Now, what would follow from that depends entirely on who had answered the door. I can't speak for others, but I would be wanting to see a bit of paperwork before inviting them in: no paperwork, no chat, and definitely no tea and biccies, bye bye, have a nice day.
And the other black cloud on the horizon comes courtesy of the Golden One and his pal, the Little Corporal, who are threatening us with tariffs until such time as we improve our record on Freedom of Speech? To almost quote Winston yet again: "What sort of people do you think we are? We're not buttoned up the back, pal, so on your bikes!". And that, really, is all I'm going to say about this particular issue because, in the few minutes it's taken to type it, the Golden One has probably changed his mind again. Not sure about the Little Corporal because he, apparently, is still in Greenland getting it in the neck from the local residents who, like many of the rest of us, are not particularly impressed with his attitude.
So - finally - today's piccie is of Loch Tollaidh, near Poolewe in Wester Ross. I've no idea what the background hills are but I know someone called MLJ who undoubtedly does.
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