23/07/2024
REPOST FROM PERSONAL ACC
some photos from the beach cause i was feeling myself and i had to share. 🏖️ 🌊
for years something as simple as finding something to wear to the beach has been a nightmare due to gender dysphoria. my dysphoria and the constant misgendering whether purposeful or accidental made me despise every inch of my skin. i tortured myself for not being masculine enough, for not being a “normal” guy. i also felt deeply insecure about my body in other ways. since birth i’ve collected quite a number of scars due to surgeries and medical procedures and i’ve seen all of these beach photos on social media with people who have a scar-free torso and felt like my torso looked wrong. these people have also been stick thin or muscular and despite always being quite slim i’ve always had a bit of a tummy, even when i lost weight due to health issues as a kid it was still there.
at some point during the past year i got a point of choosing to put self love first and stop tearing myself apart for not being “enough” for a society that platforms cis, healthy bodies and makes them the only acceptable ones.
i am a transgender man and i have been out for almost a decade. i don’t care if my masculinity isn’t acceptable . i don’t care if i’m too obviously trans. i’m proud to exist as who i am regardless. i am also someone who survived a birth defect with only a 10% chance of survival and who had complications through my childhood and teens and i now live with a chronic illness. but my eating is the best it’s been in a long time and i manage my flare ups better. and, instead of hating my body for not being cis and for not being healthy, i am just glad that it has kept going for 26 years when it could easily have given up on me shortly after i was born. i want other trans people and other people with chronic illnesses and other people with scars on their body to be able to feel this way. an utter refusal to care what society thinks they should be.
i’ve posted vulnerable things in the past but not like this. i want to be more outspoken. to use my own story to help others and to bring awareness to issues. i refuse to be seen as lesser than for who i am ever again.
