23/02/2026
After many years, through deep self-observation, reflection, studying, taking courses, reading books, trying a thousand different things, and with the help of countless hours of analysis with AI, I have finally gained an understanding of why I could hardly gain weight (and have now finally gained a few kilos). I also finally understand the symptoms that are connected to it or caused by it.
I have been to so many doctors, naturopaths, coaches, nutritionists, and even a bodybuilder.
Fun fact: the bodybuilder was actually the closest to the truth. Much of what I tried only made things worse.
Thin people who, like me, cannot gain weight are rare and therefore fall through the cracks. There is hardly any research on it. And in conventional medicine, the nervous system is barely considered — yet it influences so much within us.
The worst experiences I had were with doctors:
My blood was tested for HIV without my consent (I must look that bad?).
I was asked to take off my top so they could pull at my skin — an unexplained “test” to see if I might secretly be anorexic. Medical gaslighting. Unnecessary medications that made everything worse or would have (I didn’t take all of them).
Supplements from naturopaths that aggravated my condition, and reactions were dismissed as “detox symptoms.”
Today I understand how highly reactive and sensitive my system is. Nervous systems like this are usually shaped from early childhood, through growing up in an unsafe environment.
As long as medicine — and everyone else working in health, body, and healing — does not understand this, there will continue to be desperate people with strange, unexplained symptoms.
I have experienced deeply desperate, lonely, helpless, confused, and angry times. Hard times, marked by human coldness, that forced my nervous system into a permanent survival mode, trapped between fight-or-flight and freeze.
But I never gave up.
I fought my way through.
And eventually, I broke through.
From the painful experiences, I forged strength — perhaps even my own weapon!
