10/07/2026
5 years…
This year feels heavier than the others.
Five years is a really long time to miss somebody. For the record, time didn’t heal it. Time just got me used to the sadness.
Grief is a funny thing. Your body remembers what it lived through, what it felt. As this date approached, I started waking up in the middle of the night again, at the same time every night. Now I just say, “Hi.” Because I know it’s you.
You would’ve been 17 this year. And I try to imagine what you would look like today. I try to imagine what your voice would sound like. Who you would be. What you would love. What you would be doing.
It’s hard when I look at photos because you’re frozen in time, five years gone, while the rest of the world kept moving.
Five years of birthdays you never had with us. Five years of moments you should have been here for. Five years of wondering about all the things I’ll never get to know.
People say time heals. Maybe for some things it does. But some losses don’t get smaller. You just learn how to carry them.
I hope you’re having fun with Nonno up there. ❤️
And I saw you this morning, peeking through the sky. At least, that’s what I’m choosing to believe.
Five years later, I still miss you just as much.
I love you. Always. ❤️- ‘Dia’ Carm