Cellar Door Musings

05/28/2026

I met this guy today. Never got his name. I’ll start by saying that he walked out on his bill. It wasn’t much. It’s not the issue.
He was 27 years old and presented a lot younger. Not really “slow”, but almost stunted. Stunted by a pain that came across as an insecurity. An insecurity that ironically made him stick out like a sore thumb. A need to blend and stand out like a sore thumb. “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” was playing at a certain point and I thought it was fitting. People who know me could assume that I might have been amused. I actually wasn’t.
He really wanted to show me his tattoos. They weren’t great. He felt Inclined to tell me how long they took and what he paid. Absolute highway robbery. When I saw 999 on his knee I asked if I could take a picture. It’s been significant in my life lately. It indicates the end of a cycle. He never shared what it means for him. I didn’t ask.
Then he really felt that I should take a picture of his arm. Like I needed to see it. Man I already know. And I feel like we both have an understanding that just because we change our ways for the right reasons, what happened in the wake isn’t erased. The wheel never stops turning.
Only now do I notice the cuts on his arms. I’m quick to assume they’re self inflicted. It’s widely accepted that cutting is indicative almost exclusively of being sexually abused by a family member.
Strangely when he was talking to me and unwittingly revealing a deep pain to me, it was clear to me that his mother inflicted much of the pain that I saw. There was a lot I felt like saying to him. But some pain deserves omission of perception. It’s dignity.
I was immediately interested in his tone when he thought I should take a picture of his arm. As though there was a wisdom unbeknownst to him that he was meant to share with me.
He came from Regina to see a girl who ghosted him when he got here. I hope that he heard from her and left the bill because he only had $45 dollars to spend for the day. He shared that not understanding that there’s no way you can adequately provide a desirable experience with that little cash. But I still hope she called.

05/20/2026

Perfect moments are fleeting. But this was one of mine. Roaming around doing exactly what I wanted to be doing. Waiting to meet the love of my life at the gate to which he owns the key.

I remember thinking about how lucky I am to be true to myself and still exactly where I want to be with exactly who I want to be with. In that moment I was completely free and happy. Life is not perfect. This moment was.

05/20/2026

Look at this crazy rock with quartz I dug up yesterday!

05/14/2026

I’m going to be creating a collage of antique items. Some perhaps in colour, some in black and white. Obviously nothing set in stone because I don’t have everything photographed yet. I’d definitely appreciate some feedback though. Which photo do you prefer? 🙏☺️

04/23/2026

Not far from the Crooked Bush in Saskatchewan, I spied this beauty! It was a little bit tough to find my way in!

The home was a little bit disrupted from vandalism but really not too bad! The letter I found was dated 1960. I didn’t pry too much.

I love that the jacket is still on the wall. And the hat. I think it’s really neat that there was absolutely no place that I found for a washroom but there’s a Baller t.v. in the living room.

I saw that the letters were to a married couple couple. I felt like maybe the wife spent a few years there on her own. Maybe I’m just drawing that from the jacket and hat hanging there. It was a really nice visit!

04/11/2026

Some people want the “white picket fence “. Usually because they have an idea of what is inside. Because they have always felt “on the outside “.

Some take it further. As far as “The Great Gatsby”. Because they have suffered physically and mentally in a way that bores a hole. A hole that possessions and illusions seem the only cement to fill.

Some folks take what they need, give freely and love unconditionally. They teach that way by example. It radiates through time long after they are gone. They are the Grace that keeps all hope alive.

04/11/2026

I finally got out on an adventure today. I visited three places. This was the last.

I’ve never visited a place before and had the sense of peace and tranquility that I felt here. Such a small modest place. Such a beautiful energy. I imagine a simple loving home.

There was nothing to sense and pull out of the photos. No story to tell. Nothing to relate to and amplify. Only peace, and beauty to appreciate.

04/03/2026

It would seem odd to meet ones spirit in a seemingly unremarkable place. Or is it odd to assume that anything is unremarkable..?

03/27/2026