06/11/2026
We finally became Canadian. 🇨🇦🥹
And unfortunately, I’ve already realized that all big accomplishments are going to be bittersweet. How can I be so happy and also so sad? He was supposed to be here. I wasn’t supposed to do this alone. It was never a “me” plan.
We came to Canada because of Gabriela’s PhD. We became permanent residents because of me. He had a UQAM sweater; I had a Concordia one.
When we decided to immigrate, I heard, “Are you really going to quit your job and move to another country?” But I also remember us calling my parents in the middle of the night saying, “Gabriel got accepted, so we’re getting married tomorrow.” And I still love that day.
It’s almost unbelievable that he’s not here to finish this journey with me.
I had to take my citizenship exam three days after he passed away. I stopped sharing that part of the story after hearing, “You’re so strong. I don’t know if I could do that.” The truth is, I didn’t choose to be strong. I don’t want to be strong. And I wouldn’t wish these feelings on anyone.
The immigration system was the first of many bureaucratic processes I had to deal with (and still am dealing with). It was the first place where I had to send his death certificate and ask for our application to be separated.
The response was: “We will continue processing the application without Gabriel.”
That was the moment it hit me. I had to continue processing life without Gabriel.
I’m so proud of everything we accomplished here. And I’m proud to be Canadian now, proud to belong to the country that gave us so many opportunities.
It’s also the country that took care of Gabriel in ways I could never have imagined.
People don’t always have good things to say about the healthcare system, but if I could, I would personally thank every doctor in Montreal and Toronto and every nurse who crossed our path. He lived longer because we were here. We had access to experimental treatments because we were here. He spent his final days the way he wanted because we were here.
And for all of that, I will always be grateful.
And in the end, I know something for sure: I will never be alone, not in Canada, and not in Brasil.
