06/04/2026
I have been a photographer for over 15 years, which is crazy to say out loud. Anytime someone asks me, "How long have you been doing photography for?" I have to stop and think. It's like trying to remember how old you are as you get older. I never understood how that was a real issue adults older than me would have, but now I will admit I have done the math to figure it out.
It's been almost a month since I announced I was going to take a step back, but I left out a lot of information. I still don't have enough information; however, I will share what I can.
My photography journey started around 2010–2012. I had just graduated from high school and was on my way to finishing a photography degree in college. Right out of school, I did a little bit of traveling, and then I ended up in Edmonton by 2014. I've been here ever since, and I've been able to create some wonderful, beautiful photography sessions.
As I went through my hard drives trying to find a history of my work, every time I opened a new folder from a different session, I remembered their story and the why behind the photoshoot. Each one is so different and special to me, and I will cherish them forever. As much as when I send off your final images and you get to take them and value them, I do the same. Just know that everything I do comes with so much heart.
"Niki, out of all the people I know, you have the biggest heart. You love very deeply." That's something I hear from my partner often, and it's true. I care so deeply that stepping away, in any form, from my photography pains me and hurts me. I will never not be a photographer. I will always create art in some sense or another. I just have to take a pause, and I know that's okay.
I physically burned myself out. I allowed the pressure of social media and competing with my peers within the industry to get to me. I was posting daily on TikTok for a few years and trying to keep up with posting three times a week on Instagram for over a year. It is so time-consuming to come up with new ideas, new concepts, film yourself, edit the videos, stay consistent, and still run a full-time photography business. You only see a small percentage of what we choose to share. It's a lot. And I can't do that version of myself anymore.
Since I announced I was taking a pause, it's been about a month.
The other day I filmed a small video, and it took hours out of my day. I sat there thinking, “how did I do this all the time? Is this video too long? Will anyone want to even watch this? You have to post this at x time, it has to be x short or no one will.” These toxic thoughts filled my brain daily. I had one video go semi-viral on Tiktok a few years ago, and I have been chasing that feeling since. Sure I got followers, almost 10k, but it wasn’t the community I had dreamed of. Then I fell into the trap of social media and the need of posting, and paying attention to the numbers and follow counts. No wonder I was burned out.
Anyway, I've been surrounded by friends and family and keeping myself busy. And big life changes are happening.
If you've read this far, thank you. Here's what's going on.
My partner is going through a very big career change that will involve us moving. Currently, we don't know where, how far, or for how long, but it does involve us moving. Which is really hard.
I don't do well with change, and even with the amount of prep I've gotten for this, it still doesn't feel like enough. I'm really sad. I didn't think I'd be in Edmonton past 10 years, and now to be here for 12, it's starting to feel more like home. But I have learned that home is where your people are.
I've met some incredible people here. Some of/More like most of my friends in Edmonton I met because of photography. I know I will make more friends. I know I will meet new people and be able to share their stories too. But saying goodbye is really, really hard for me.
You may have seen that I've been downsizing. My client closet is another chapter that is also really, really hard for me. I'm getting rid of some props as well. Everything that I brought into my studio, I cherished. I found it myself, made it myself, or felt so much joy bringing it into the studio. Seeing anything leave is hard.
I am slowly preparing an Open House Studio Sale where you'll be able to come in, book a time slot, and shop the closet. I hope these items can go to the most valuable people I know—my clients. The thought of knowing these items are cherished, or will be loved again, fills my heart so much.
Come the end of September, our lives change. This is when we move to wherever we end up going. So between now and then, if you want to book a session with me, I am still available. I just won't be posting on social media as often as I was.
I love my community more than anything, and without you guys, I don't know what I would do. I will only be taking on a select number of clients per month so I can maintain my new lifestyle and focus on getting back to my own mental health. I've been journaling more. I've been making physical art again, like painting and drawing. I started going back to the gym with a whole new meal plan.
I have future goals, and these include getting healthier, mentally and physically. I still have art goals too, and I always will.
Some new fine art prints just arrived, and I have dreams about selling these. Having you buy art from me that you weren't even included in, and wanting to put my art in your house, is a dream I've had for a very long time.
I have some conceptual ideas that I want to photograph before I leave, and I don't know how to end this because I don't know how to do goodbyes.
I've put together a collage from the past 10 years where you can see where I truly started and where I am today. To see that growth is kind of crazy.
Going forward, I will be focusing on fantasy photography, portrait photography, and lifestyle photography, with the occasional elopement, engagement or wedding session. As for my bo***ir photography, it will shift more toward empowerment to better match the motherhood sessions that I adore doing. I will be stepping away from the more sexy and sultry side of bo***ir. I've noticed my bo***ir work has always been more about empowerment, self-love, and showcasing how you can step into your next chapter of your self-love journey.
All of this is to say thank you for following me on my journey. I hope you continue to follow me to see where I end up.
Like I said, I am not done. I will always be a photographer. This is simply a time where I need to pivot.
I love you. Thank you. ❤️ Niki, Starklife Photography/ Starklife Studios Photography.
