15/06/2026
For The Ones I Carried
Part I — Before I Let Go
For years I told myself that one day it would all be worth it.
That one day there would be a baby in my arms and all of the injections, appointments, procedures, heartbreak and waiting would somehow pay off.
But that’s not how my story ended.
Over the years I lost 6 embryos. And with just one remaining, I decided the pain was too much.
Too much for my aging body, too much for my aching heart, too hard to break the news to Kash once again.
7 tiny possibilities.
7 little pieces of the future I thought I was working towards.
No sibling for our son.
No pregnancy to enjoy.
No tiny memories to cherish with another baby.
With my hysterectomy approaching, I knew I needed to do something for me.
Not as a photographer.
Not for social media.
Not because I was okay.
But because I needed somewhere to put the grief, and focus on closing this chapter and moving onto the next.
These images are the beginning of that process.
A chance to sit with everything this journey has been.
The hope.
The heartbreak.
The waiting.
The loneliness.
Before I begin to let it go.
🤍
A special thank you to my beautiful friend .photography
For holding space for me, for trusting my vision, and for capturing these moments when I couldn’t be the one behind the camera.
All images shared throughout this series were photographed by Kylie and edited by me. (I will also share photos Kylie edits herself to my story) not even sorry for the spam.
