07/06/2025
The Aftermath.
Maybe one day, when I care more about photo aesthetics than I do about calling out greedy corporations, I’ll get around to editing each one.
I've decided to share the unfiltered truth as a photographer. In the past, I wouldn’t dream of showing my photos without all the effects, filters, and layers I use to create the vibe I envision. And while I’ll get back to that eventually, right now I feel called to share something different—the raw, unpolished reality of my life after AAC.
Luckily I recovered, but my back never did...thanks so much to this facility for what I had to go through because of arbitrary selectivity of rules. Walked miles and miles with all this literal baggage in a new place with not much money. It was not fun. Had I been allowed to stick to a plan, none of this would've happened.
There's always a silver lining in hindsight, like 400 photos of random streets I may or may not edit later on to be "interesting". What isn't revealed is the literal panic attacks I had because of one director who decided my apology for ordering a smoothie, despite many people at this place ordering pizza nightly, wasn't good enough and that I should be kicked out early. In a new state, while on federal probation, which she knew.
I often ask, why are people in corporate positions working at facilities related to addiction and mental healthcare when they haven't the slightest interest in helping people?
One silver lining: I visited a Polish museum and met a guy who was walking from Miami to D.C., raising awareness about Hong Kong and other global events.
And how did I end up here? In this situation?
It traces back to an assault in 2017—an event shaped by a series of bad decisions rooted in the trauma of being in an abusive Mormon cult in 2015 for even a short time, posing as a treatment facility. Those decisions? They were influenced by choices I made in college, by the people I surrounded myself with—choices that, in turn, were shaped by deeper energetic wounds from my youth tied to events not even worth unpacking here.
And how did I relapse? How did THC end up in my system the day after I finally got my ankle monitor removed in 2021, after wearing it for a year?
Because in the fall of 2020, after making real progress, I was cornered and threatened. And somehow, that didn’t qualify as a reportable event.
Funny, isn’t it? The butterfly effect—it’s more real and more powerful than most people realize.
While this man I met may be marching for the liberation of Hong Kong, I’m focused on something closer to home: unraveling the mess my life became when people abused their power to control a human being who was already injured.