06/13/2026
•Foreign Colors•
For years they named me after absences…
the missing blue,
the insufficient gold,
the sky I could not hold together.
I learned to fold myself small as a dead leaf,
They handed me mirrors made of their disappointment
and I learned to see only the grey, the lack, the shrinking.
Too much, they said, and so I folded my wings…
pressed them flat against the body of myself,
made a small, apologetic shape
that would not disturb the air they breathed.
to apologize for every root I grew.
Love came with rulers then,
measuring what I owed,
counting every breath against a debt.
But you… you speak of me like a field guide to something rare.
You name the colors I had stopped believing in.
And here you are,
looking at me as though I am some impossible bird…
stitched from twilight and seawater.
Now I raise my face the way a bird lifts into the sun
not to burn, but to be witnessed in the warmth.
Cloak me in a million South African suns.
Let me be bright without apology.
Beneath it, I lift my face heavenward,
petal soft and trembling.
I do not want to be their smaller thing,
their bloodless mirror, their convenient dark.
I want to perch here, full of impossible color,
and let you be the one who sees it first.
No one told me. All these years, no one told me.
That I was not the absence of the light…
I was the one who held it in my feathers,
waiting for a voice to call it true.
Let me bloom here,
in the light of your believing.
Let me wear the colors you discovered
before the world convinced me they were gone.