11/16/2021
The end of the year is around the corner which means I’ve been working on my 2021 demo reel and reflection of the type of year I’ve had. I honestly can’t believe everything that I’ve was able to achieve, I’m truly so blessed and it feels unreal. It all came at a price though. The last 2-3 months, I’ve taken a step back from reality to sorta observe what my life has become because it feels like I’ve been living the life of a character that I created for instagram and truthfully, I can’t tell if it’s real or fake anymore. I’ve thought of myself as a business, I haven’t been a person for years. Fortunately it hasn’t been a complete waste because I’ve been able to achieve practically every goal I’ve set for myself but looking back, I can barely remember getting here and I’m tired of playing this game. This isn’t only a 2021 problem, I’ve been dealing with it since the start of my career but I’ve never had any time to breathe and reflect. I was so eager to “make it” that I never let myself have a day off. It took a pretty hard-hitting death to happen for me to finally shut down and take some time off to think, I’m not proud of that. In conclusion, here a few things that I realize: I have pushed everyone out of my life and didn’t realize how alone I am, the only memories I have are work related, and I don’t know how to handle free time. There you go, that’s the real me.