02/17/2024
“PORCELAIN”
December 19, 2017 6:27 AM
5.14 MILES
📝 I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. Never in a million years would I like to go through this again. To be honest, it’s s**t. I screamed, I fought the wall, I murdered my pillow. It was excruciating pain. It’s hard to be positive. I wanted to punch everyone in the face that said, “Just work on yourself.” I thought, “F**k you! You don’t know what I’m feeling.” I went on like that for months. I ignored my friends and family because I couldn’t be happy, I didn’t even want to be happy. Let me remind you what helped. I went to see a therapist. I learned a lot about the demons inside me and how to control them, but mostly I could talk openly to someone who was objective and there to help. That doesn’t stop the pain though. I started working out, I ran mostly because it’s what I love to do. I did a push-up challenge to see if I could finish something I started. I read a few books including The Gifts of Imperfection. See the thing is that most people say time heals, but that’s not exactly true. You have to put in the work. You have to experience life and make memories of your own. So many cool and better memories that will outshine the heartbreak that you feel. Don’t get me wrong even during those activities I thought about how much I missed my person, but I knew that I had to do it. I mean I jumped out of an airplane. You want to forget some s**t, go do that. Trust me for that minute you don’t care about anything!! All you do is start to appreciate the fact that you’re alive, healthy and that hopefully that parachute will open. Live your life with passion. Don’t drown your sorrows in booze too much either, it’s counter productive. Instead feed your soul and heart with new memories you create. And to be honest make sure your solo when doing them, it makes all the difference. You really get to know who you are when you are forced to do things all by yourself.
