19 Love Stories

19 Love Stories Stories of love, connection and community in Boise, Idaho during the Covid-19 Crisis.

Hello 19 Love Stories community! Nominate some of the amazing people that helped you get through the pandemic in large o...
08/11/2021

Hello 19 Love Stories community!
Nominate some of the amazing people that helped you get through the pandemic in large or small ways. The City of Boise wants to celebrate these special people. Follow the link in the post to nominate community heroes.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic began, people all over Boise have stepped up in big and small ways to serve our community. The City of Boise wants to celebrate these community heroes! Whether they are a hospital worker keeping our community healthy or a teacher going the extra mile during an unusual school year, we want to hear about them. Submit your nominees between now and August 22 by visiting https://www.cityofboise.org/departments/mayor/celebrating-our-community-heroes/

Mayor McLean and City of Boise leaders are reading through submissions and will select nominees for recognition at this year's State of the City Address on September 16.

Thank you  Story Night for giving me the opportunity to curate Tuesday night's evening of presenters. Get your ticket an...
02/21/2021

Thank you Story Night for giving me the opportunity to curate Tuesday night's evening of presenters. Get your ticket and join us for an evening of beautiful stories about love and transformation.

Celebrate love with us this month with "LOVE CONNECTiON." Get your tix and make a date with your loved ones to watch together. http://storystorynight.eventbrite.com

“My name is Arleen Marie Kinsey Schaeffer. I am now 82 years old. I was born in Freeport, Long Island in New York.My hus...
02/13/2021

“My name is Arleen Marie Kinsey Schaeffer. I am now 82 years old. I was born in Freeport, Long Island in New York.

My husband Ralph and I lived in Freeport and then we moved to Florida. Our first grandchild was born in 1989. We came out to Boise to see that birth. We weren’t planning to move to Boise. I never thought we would move west of the Mississippi. We traveled up and down the East Coast and tried to find a retirement home. And then when we came out to Idaho, we said: ‘wow, this is pretty nice’.

The first date we had was in 1957 and I was 18 years old. The minute I first saw Ralph, I knew he was going to be mine. We were going to Jones Beach, which is on Long Island. It's a big, very famous beach. It was a double date with Ralph, my cousin, and Ralph's friend. I knew I wanted to be with Ralph and not the other guy. I just said, ‘I'm going to fight for this guy.’ And I did.

The other guy was driving so I hopped in the backseat because I knew Ralph had to be in the back. And my cousin sat with the other fella. That's how it all started. From there on, it was just dates and a very quick engagement. I think we were only engaged for a month.

I knew right away, he was a good person. I would see him and I thought: ‘He's a good person. He's a happy person.’ He was considerate, he was generous. He was polite. He was everything that I didn't think I was looking for but there it was and I said: ‘I better grab him.’ He was very good looking and a lot of girls wanted him including my cousin.

One night we were out together and he told me he had vacation at a certain time which were the same weeks I had my vacation. He said: ‘What shall we do, maybe go to dinner? Want to make some plans?’ And I said: ‘Well, yeah. Let's get married.’

And that was it. I think he was so dumbfounded. He just agreed.

We were married for 55 years when he passed away ten years ago. He always had a lot of different names for me like ‘pumpkin’ and ‘sweet pea.’ I always have happy memories and happy thoughts about Ralph. In all of the pictures we have together he always has his arms around me. That’s why I always feel him.

I think we were compatible. We both had the same interests. He was a character, and fun to be with. And I guess I was too. I never thought I was, but there must have been something there that brought him to me. And I think it was probably the same thing. I was always happy. And he brought a lot of happiness into our lives.

He was clever. And he wasn't afraid of work. He always wanted to take care of me. I could never do anything. He always had to do it, you know. But I watched him all the time to make sure he was doing it right.

It has been ten years since Ralph passed away. It’s been up and down. I find it harder now. Maybe it’s because of the pandemic but I miss him more. I really do. I talk to him all the time. I say good morning and good night. I share the day with him.

One time I was on my swing in the backyard. It had been several years since he died. I looked up and I saw him looking at me from inside the house. He was just looking at me and enjoying it, because he knew I just loved that swing. And he was happy to see me there.

I wish everybody would have had the marriage that we had. It was very special. It was a very very comfortable marriage. A fun marriage. It was a marriage I wish everybody could experience.

I think Ralph had reservations in the beginning. After we were married for many years he shared a story with me. We were on the Staten Island Ferry, on our way to our honeymoon. He told me that he was standing on the ferry boat and he thought: ‘what did I get myself into?’ But it all worked out. I don't think he was expecting to get married. But I knew he was ready.”

-Arleen Shaeffer
Boise, Idaho
February 1, 2021

01/24/2021

Greetings! I'm sourcing new stories for 2021. If you have any beautiful stories to share that tell a story of love and transformation through the lens of Covid, Boise, community, family or friends please send me a message. Since Valentines Day is coming up, I'm especially interested in sourcing a few epic love stories. Thank you!

“My name is Carson Zickgraf and I’m 34 years old. I was born in Bountiful, Utah. My family moved to Meridian when I was ...
12/09/2020

“My name is Carson Zickgraf and I’m 34 years old. I was born in Bountiful, Utah. My family moved to Meridian when I was seven years old.

This is my eleventh year installing holiday lights for my business. When I first started, my wife and I were a poor newlywed couple with a baby and I needed money so I just started going door to door to build my business. We did a handful of houses and then it just grew from that.

One afternoon, I was installing lights in a neighborhood in Meridian for a friend of mine. It was about the time school was getting out and all of these kids were walking home from school. A neighbor said: ‘Oh, man, these kids are having a hard time with what's been going on.’ I didn't know what had happened so I inquired.

He said, ‘Oh, you know, one of their classmates died by su***de within the last few weeks’. That was heartbreaking to hear, so I just asked him: ‘If you wouldn't mind just pointing out which house it was, we'll just go put lights up on it right now’. We didn't even knock on the door. We just jumped up on the roof and started putting them on. The mother came out, up in arms because she didn't know what was going on and I explained to her, ‘I heard what happened. And we just wanted to do lights for you’.

She broke down crying and hugged me.

When she hugged me, I just felt that mother's pain and it just resonated with me. Not too long after that, I had a couple people that were close to me that died by su***de. When that happened, we did lights for them. I realized it was something that meant a lot to their families. Holidays are hard for people that have lost loved ones.

One of the big reasons I keep doing it every year is because of my close friend that I lost, Vance. And I grew up with him in high school when we wrestled together.

He was working at a restaurant, I saw him in the back cooking. I don't remember what I was doing that day. But I didn't take five minutes to say hi to him and see how he was doing. I just kind of waved and went on my way. And I've always regretted that. I want to hold myself accountable for not saying hi to Vance that day, you know?

This winter feels different to me. People are way more stressed, people are worn out. Then you add Covid and the election and then you throw in a loss like that. I can just sense that people are barely hanging on.

We supply all of the materials and we cut to fit LED lights for them. I always try to see what colors they want. We want to make it nice. We store them with their address on the box and we come back every year and install their lights.

A woman came out to me after we did her house for the fifth or sixth time and she said: ‘You know, something like this happens, people rally around you, they support you, and they help you. And then they all go back to their lives. But the pain from something like this never goes away. But you never forget. You always remember us.’

I would like there to be more awareness about su***de. There's a stigma attached to it. I would love for that stigma to be talked about and redefined. It's a pandemic and there’s a lot of people suffering. It's the leading cause of death in Idaho between the ages of 14 to 30.

I'd love to create su***de awareness walk within one of our parks in Boise. Every tree could be dedicated to a person and people could walk through, admire the lights and donate to su***de prevention organizations. That would be my dream.”

*If you would like to sponsor a family for Carson to hang lights for, you can send Carson a Venmo: -Zickgraf. Just to give you an idea of his costs, to supply one set of lights for one family is about $250-$300. Thank you!*

“I was born in The White Mountains, Apache County, Arizona. My grandad raised rodeo bulls.I lost my mom when I was 12 ye...
10/20/2020

“I was born in The White Mountains, Apache County, Arizona. My grandad raised rodeo bulls.

I lost my mom when I was 12 years old to cancer.

In school I never made it past eighth grade. My grandmother got bit on the ankle by a rattlesnake. I spent from 16 to 18 taking care of her.

When my grandmother passed away, I felt like I had failed her. I didn't really have much of a childhood. I had to grow up real fast, I had to be there for other people all the time.

My father was an abusive person. I can remember him always calling me a little bastard, calling me worthless and useless and no good for nothing. I went through life not caring because that broke me.

I learned how to be a chameleon. I learned how to be not true to myself. I used drugs and women to numb those emotions that were so deep.

Every time my dad would beat me until I was bleeding, every time he would backhand me across the room. God, what did I do? What did I do to deserve this?

I had to learn how to remake that one bridge between me and my higher power. It's about loving myself enough to give myself a break so that I can think about somebody else. So that I can be there for other people.

By being able to allow God into my life, I have some hope. I have courage. I have self respect. I have willingness, and I have a relationship with myself that I've never known before.

I came out in November, just after Thanksgiving, it was November 24, 2019. I got out and everything was stacked against me. I didn't have an ID, I didn't have a birth certificate. I didn't have a social security card. This time I wasn't feeling like I was a failure. I just had some barriers I needed to overcome.

I've been working at Home Depot, it'll be two years in March. And, and right now I'm in training to be a department supervisor.

I don't know who I really want to be. I just want to be me for a change, whoever that is. And I'm still trying to put those pieces together about who I am. And why do I want to be me? I've learned that I have value.”

-Delbert

Boise, Idaho

October 4, 2020

*Support this project on Patreon and receive all of these stories directly to your inbox, before they are posted to social media. www.patreon.com/19lovestories*

NEW TIME! Show will start at 7:30pm Mountain Time.The show will be live streamed on several accounts:On instagram:, or o...
10/17/2020

NEW TIME! Show will start at 7:30pm Mountain Time.
The show will be live streamed on several accounts:

On instagram:
,

or on Facebook:

@19 Love Stories

Cultural Commissioning Fund

Nations Network

In person:
Saturday, October 17th, 6:30pm
Downtown Boise, City Hall, large brick wall on the Main Street side entrance.

“I was a typical teenager, I didn't do any drugs. We come from a family of alcoholics so I swore I'd never drink. I was ...
10/15/2020

“I was a typical teenager, I didn't do any drugs. We come from a family of alcoholics so I swore I'd never drink. I was about 35 and I was in postpartum depression and I wasn't happy in my marriage. I had a really rough pregnancy and my son was born six weeks early and got sent straight to the NICU.

I had a friend who was into pills. She said, “take this and it'll help you get through, you won’t feel any pain.” I just numbed everything. I wasn't ready to deal with my problems. I didn’t have the right doctors that actually wanted to help me. In drug courts and jails, you leave with more connections to drugs than you went in with.

I just buried it, just pushed the emotions to the side. I felt small and all these insecurities were coming back up- that I was this fat, ugly girl.

About three months into it, something changed. I didn't find God, it wasn’t anything like that, I just wanted something different. I said: ‘I don't want to do this anymore.’

I got out in October of 2017. By the grace of God, I repaired my relationship with my dad before he died.

The night before he died he was talking in his sleep and he said: ‘I just want everybody to know how proud of Kristy I am.’

Instead of seeing him die, that's the memory that I hold on to.

I had a phenomenal teacher and CO out at the prison. They told me: ‘You’re a strong, independent, beautiful woman. You’re articulate, you're smart, you need to see yourself that way.’

I still have really bad days. I still think about how I wish I could numb this and not have to feel it.

My purpose now? I want to give back what was so freely given to me. I want my kids to know that it's never too late to start over and make a difference.

I try not to dwell on the fact that I screwed up so much. I can't tell you what that divine moment was that told me this time is different. I didn't do it for my kids and didn’t do it for my parents. It was for me, I deserve better. I need to treat myself better than I've treated myself. I am worth it.”

-Kristy

October 9, 2020

Boise, Idaho

*This interview is part of an upcoming event called The Writing on the Wall which will be live streamed from downtown Boise on October 17, 2020 at 6:30pm on City Hall, on the Main street entrance. This event is also a part of the Cultural Commissioning Fund Showcase. Here are all of the details:

If you would like to live stream the event, you can do so by following any of these accounts on instagram:

,

or on Facebook:

@19 Love Stories

Cultural Commissioning Fund

Nations Network

If you decide to come in person, please be sure wear a mask and stay distanced from others. There will be space along the sidewalk up and down main street between Capitol and 5th where the projection can be viewed.

Saturday, October 17th

6:30pm

City Hall, large brick wall on the Main Street side entrance

Join us on Saturday, October 17th via live stream or in person (please wear a mask and stay 6 feet from others) for a sp...
10/14/2020

Join us on Saturday, October 17th via live stream or in person (please wear a mask and stay 6 feet from others) for a special edition of 19 Love Stories in collaboration with The Writing on the Wall. The stories shared on Saturday feature individuals who have been formerly incarcerated in Idaho. This will be a very special event and we hope to see you!

What: The Writing on the Wall x 19 Love Stories
When: Saturday October 17th, 2020 @ 6:30 pm
Where: City Hall, wall at the Main st entrance

The event will be streamed via Instagram on and and on Facebook and COVID Cultural Commissioning - CCC Fund.

This event is a part of the COVID Cultural Commissioning - CCC Fund Showcase. We are grateful to The CCC Fund, Boise City Department of Arts and History, Treefort Music Fest and The Morrison Center for the Performing Arts for making this event possible.

“My name is Mitchell Renick. I'm 24.When I got out of prison in 2017, I still had a very strong criminal mentality. That...
10/13/2020

“My name is Mitchell Renick. I'm 24.

When I got out of prison in 2017, I still had a very strong criminal mentality. That's something that a lot of us deal with and being incarcerated, especially when at a young age, we develop that mindset of ‘I'm a criminal. I'm gonna continue to be a criminal.’

My criminal mentality developed when I was 8, the police took away my father. Once you are in the system, it's a system that does not let you out of it.

Now, I do a lot of self talk. I'm a I'm a big stand in front of the mirror talker. I'm a spiritual guy, so I talk to my higher power.

I catch myself when I think about those things. I can recognize it nowadays.

I say to myself: ‘No, Mitchell , that's not okay. That's not how you think.’ Instead, I ask myself: ‘How are you gonna live today? What are your goals?’

I tell myself I'm loved and I'm important. Because I struggled with that growing up, wanting to belong and be loved.

For the first time in my life, I learned to love myself. I have long term goals. Nowadays, I have ambition. I know that today, my past doesn't define who I am.

I want to be a trauma therapist. I want to help people. I wanna help people before they commit felonies.

It took me going to prison and rehab to realize that I love my father. I didn't, when he first got out.

We see each other regularly, we communicate. We talk about what's going on in our lives. I enjoy my relationship with my father today. I'm close to him.

My father is a living example that just because you commit a felony, it doesn’t have to define you. It's important to honor your past and move forward and grow.

Just because we went to prison doesn't mean that we’re broken people. I went to prison, I should be proud of the fact that I went to prison, I've come out and I've changed my life around.”

- Mitchell with his father Mark

October 8, 2020

Boise, Idaho

*This interview is part of an upcoming event called The Writing on the Wall which will be live streamed from downtown Boise on October 17, 2020 at 6:30pm on City Hall, on the Main street. This event is also a part of the Covid Cultural Commissioning Fund Showcase. Here are all of the details:

If you would like to live stream the event, you can do so by following any of these accounts on instagram:

,

or on Facebook:

@19 Love Stories

Cultural Commissioning Fund

Nations Network

A big thank you to Treefort Music Fest and for making this livestream possible. And thank you to Systemic Change of Idaho for partnering with us.

"Covid caught us off guard. We were thinking it was somewhere else and it’s not coming here. Then the next thing we know...
09/23/2020

"Covid caught us off guard. We were thinking it was somewhere else and it’s not coming here. Then the next thing we know, we have cases in Washington. That's why I started buying PPE to stock up on supplies. And then two weeks later, all those orders got cancelled. I realized I have to come up with an alternative.

When I had my clothing business back home, I bought used clothes and then I would tailor them. Those skills helped me make masks easily. I distributed the masks to my drivers. And then we started making them for Veterans and people working in assisted living centers. We brought them masks for free. The demand got higher and higher. Then the IRC approached me and asked me to make them for refugees working in health care.

My mom always told me: ‘don’t take advantage of the moment to gain power.’ For me, this is not the moment where you want to make money by selling masks. It’s helping our community be safe.

The village where I grew up in Cameroon was very small. I think we had about 20 to 50 families. My life was very stable. I was very close with my parents.

When I was 10, my dad went out drinking one night and he was poisoned by one of his friends. On Saturday morning, somebody came to school to announce to me that my dad passed away.
After that, my dad's family came and took everything that my mom and dad had built and kicked us out of their house. My mom had to start from zero. I think that's what started a depression and she began to get into alcohol and other things. After a year of massive drinking, she got sick and she passed away.

After she passed, I decided to come back to live with my dad’s family; my uncles and aunts and grandparents. When I came back, I was pretty much their maid. I had to wake up at five in the morning, go get water ready, prepare everything for the kids, walk them to school, come home and clean. One day I said: ‘this is not right.’

Usually in the evening, they would send me to go get water about four miles away and one night, I never came back. I walked 20 miles to the city in the middle of the night. I was 11 years old at that time.

I had to find a way to support myself. My dad used to be a fisherman. He would wake me up at five in the morning and give me tiny chores just to keep me busy. I was already in that routine.

I just tried to keep myself in line. Even though I was living on the street, I wasn't involved with things that other kids were involved in. If you are living like an orphan, drugs are everywhere. At five years old, you can get access to drugs very easily. So you just have to know what your boundaries are.

I was picked up by a gentleman from another country. He trusted me but also didn’t trust me because I was living on the street. He owned a bakery. I would come in the morning and start doing the cleaning, and he would give me a baguette of bread.

I would clean the entire bakery everyday and he would give me bread. One day, he produced more bread than expected. He asked me if I wanted to take a couple baguettes and go sell them for cheaper. He gave me ten loaves and I went and sold them. I came back and he gave me twenty. Then he gave me one hundred. I came back and he asked me: ‘Where do you live? Where is your family?’

When he found out that I didn’t have a family, they told me that I can work there and I can sleep there. So that’s how my life started getting better. Later, I told him I wanted to go back to school and I started going to night school. I worked with him for four years until I was ready to move to the capital city. He bought my bus ticket.

I went through the same process for several months. I lived on the street and I started selling clothes. One day, I found a man’s passport on the street. Somebody had stolen his passport thinking there was money in it. When there was no money in it, they threw the passport away. I picked it up and read it, and saw that it's a very important document. I wanted to keep it and take it to the embassy. My friends tried to talk me out of it. They said: ‘Jonathan, you need to throw that away. If this guy catches you, he’s going to think that you're the one that stole it and he's gonna put you in jail.’

Later I saw him. He was walking back and forth looking for the passport. So I said ‘Hey, are you looking for something? I’m looking at your face and it seems like this document is yours.’

So I gave it to him. He took it and he didn't even ask my name on anything and he was gone. Then, three weeks later he came back. He was asking everybody: ‘I’m looking for the guy who found my passport. I just want to talk to him again. I want to know who he is.’

Months later, I was having coffee with friends. Somebody ran up to me and said: ‘Jonathan, do you remember that white guy that you helped last time? He is looking for you! You need to run away right now! You're gonna go to jail!’

I looked up and I saw him. I said: ‘I gotta go meet him.’

So I approached him and he said: ‘I'm sorry. I didn't talk to you last time. I just want to know more about you. I know you helped me last time. Most people don't do that. And I want to just know more.’

He asked me about my parents and he wrote everything down. He told me he worked for the UNHCR. Before he left, he gave me five bucks which was big money. He said: ‘put a credit on your phone and call me. Here's my number, here's my information.’

Three months later, he came back and he said: ‘Hey, I want to talk to you about your parents. I plugged your parents information into the computer and found that you are actually not Cameroonian. Your parents ran away from Chad because of war and they came to Cameroon.’
I never knew my parents were refugees in Cameroon.

Then he started telling me what was going to be the next action to take. He told me: ‘We are going to submit your application. Sometimes it takes a long time, up to five or ten years. If you are lucky, maybe one year.’

Six months later, I got a call saying my application got accepted for two different countries, Australia and the United States. It was a miracle. I don't know what happened. I don't know where that gentleman came from. What if I never found his passport? What would have happened?

I keep telling people: ‘I can hear my parents sometimes’ When I was an orphan, I had certain messages that I got from my mom and my dad. I could always hear my dad saying: ‘I want you to go to school, I want you to focus on education, that's the only time you're going to be successful.’ And my mom saying: ‘you need to be respectful. You need to follow your education.’ These messages in my head gave me direction. How else did I get here from a tiny village in Africa to the United States?

I started feeling emotional about my parents when I moved to Idaho. It was very hard when I would see other kids with their parents at soccer games and events. That's when I noticed that I was alone. I would think: ‘I don't know my parents. I wish they were here. There's nothing I can do.’ Especially in the last three years, my daughter started asking: ‘Where's grandpa?’ It's hard to explain to her.

When I was a lifeguard at the YMCA, we called 911 all the time. One day, we had a lady who was having difficulty breathing during water aerobics. When the paramedics showed up, I gave them a patient care report. After that I asked the paramedic if there is anything I can do better in this situation. His feedback to me was that I did a great job and nobody ever gave him such a thorough report before. He asked if I was an EMT. I didn’t know what an EMT was, but something clicked. That person opened my eyes. I had already registered for Phlebotomy at CWI but I switched to EMT. I wish I could get a hold of that gentleman again and thank him.

I became an EMT because I wanted to help people and be an advocate for people that can’t stand up and help themselves.

My lifestyle back home helped me to keep myself calm even though the Covid problem is serious. I trust myself that I can get through this and I told my employees: ‘Don’t worry about your bills, let me know if you need anything. I'm here and we can help each other until this thing is over.’ I knew that my business would survive no matter what. This is a bad moment and if you get through it, you can say: ‘this is what I learned and if this happens again, this is how we're going to do it.’ So have a plan for yourself.

That's what I do my entire life. You have to pause and ask yourself: ‘if this was me, how would I want somebody to treat me? How would I want someone to treat my grandmother? It helped me understand being humble and helpful."

-Jonathan Amissa
Skyroad Medical Transport
Boise, Idaho
April 30th, 2020

*Support 19 Love Stories by joining Patreon and receive every story first, via email. www.patreon.com/19lovestories*

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