08/26/2019
"Performans „Okidač“ je nastao kao ishod sna, u kome sam, kroz epizode, sanjala da sam mrtva i da ne mogu da doprem do meni bliskih ljudi iz „živog“ sveta. Nakon buđenja, razmišljajući o tome kada i kako sam „umrla“, došla sam do otkrića tokom slaganja stvari u stanu. Kada bih završila ritual sređivanja svega „što se mora“, pomislila bih da je konačno vreme da se posvetim sebi i ljudima koje volim... A onda bih shvatila da imam snage jedino da zaspim. Ta situacija se ponavljala bar godinu dana i neprimetno me je uljuljkivala u osećaj sigurnosti. Cela energija bi bila potrošena na repetitivne zadatke kojima nikad nema kraja, i uvek bih mogla da stvorim nove, ni od kuda i zauvek. Nesvesno sam odlagala život, a podsvest je kroz snove pokušavala da mi kaže da polako umirem, da se udaljavam od sebe i svega što volim. Jednog jutra sam se probudila i shvatila da gledam u sanduk koji me čeka, koji me je na kraju svakog dana uvek i čekao.
Ovim performansom želim da predstavim svoj ritual sa završetkom koji se ne bi naslutio isprva, u nadi da će dotaći svakoga ko mu bude prisustvovao – da će taj ritual biti okidač publici, kao što je bio i meni. Želim da moj performans bude podsećanje i opomena - da ne mora da se desi velika povreda ili nesreća, kako to obično biva, da bismo zastali i osvrnuli se na svoj život i ljude u njemu, shvativši da previše vremena provodimo baveći se nečim, u suštini ispraznim, zanemarujući svet oko sebe i sve ono i one za koje mislimo da živimo.
U današnjem svetu društvene evolucije i komunikacije preko socijalnih mreža, lako je zavaravati se da živimo opipljiv, stvaran, ispunjen i emotivan život i teško je osvestiti to jednom kada se upetljamo u kovitlac fantazma. I tek na kraju shvatimo ljubav koju smo propustili."
Muzika: Katarina Rankovic
Kamera: Nemanja Špoljarić
Veliko hvala: Performance HUB (G12 HUB), New Moment New Ideas Company Beograd, Katarina Rankovic, Ljiljana Tomašević, Nemanja Špoljarić, Svetlana Gutić, Ivan Tokin
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Performance “Trigger” originated as an outcome from continuous dreams I had, in which I was dead and could not reach the people close to me from the “living” world. In the need of finding out when and how I have “died”, I’ve come to the discovery during the tidying up of my apartment. As I was finishing the ritual of housework and other “must do” tasks, I thought that it was high time to spend some time with myself and the people I love... And then I would realize that I only have strength to fall asleep. That situation was repeating for more than a year and gave me a false sense of security. My whole energy was spent on repetitive tasks that were never-ending. Unconsciously, I was delaying my life, and my subconscious was trying to tell me through dreams that I was dying and getting distant from all that I loved. One morning I woke up and saw my coffin waiting for me, and realized that it was waiting for me the whole time. With this performance I want to present my ritual with an ending that wouldn’t be assumed at first, in hope that it will reach the core of everyone who attends it – that this ritual will be trigger to them, as it was for me. I want my performance to be a reminder and a warning – we don’t want a big injury or accident to happen, as it usually happens, only to realize that we are wasting our lives, ignoring what’s important in our existence. In today’s world of social evolution and communication though social network it is easy to be deceived that we are living the life that’s tangible, real and emotional. It’s difficult to wake up from that state, once we are entangled in the whirlpool of phantasms. And in the end we will realize that we have missed out on so much love.
Music: Katarina Ranković
Camera: Nemanja Špoljarić
Big thanks goes to: Performance HUB, New Moment New Ideas Company, Katarina Ranković, Ljiljana Tomašević, Nemanja Špoljarić, Svetlana Gutić, Ivan Tokin.
