Kendall D. Lartigue Photography

06/19/2025

4 years ago, I had all but given up on event photography. I was burnt out. Amongst personal reasons, I had also been photographing a multitude of protests in the years prior of the atrocities committed against Black People. It began to affect my psyche, seeing (sometimes firsthand) the savagery, barbarity, and heinous torture inflicted upon Our Black Skin.

I needed a break to recharge my mental, so I put the camera down, potentially for good.

That same year, I caught word there was a Juneteenth festival happening nearby. I wasn’t looking for any opportunities; I wasn’t an “official photographer”, paid or anything like that; I just showed up, photographed what my heart felt, and then shared the photos. The following year, I was contacted by from , offering me the opportunity to be the photographer for the event, and every year since, I have photographed all of the festival events and more for them. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Juneteenth is a protest. It is a way for Us to show the world who We are; how strong We are when We come together as One People to celebrate Our Black heritage; to showcase Our swag, Our bling, Our hair, Our clothes, and Our color. It is an avenue for Us to speak out against the crimes committed against Us, sometimes in the form of song and dance. Juneteenth has become deeply ingrained in me, and I will continue to celebrate it as I continue to breathe and photograph. I hope for my photos to live forever.

Happy Juneteenth!

04/25/2025

I realize I have been immensely codependent for most of my life. The happiness within myself has always been reliant on external sources, other people, relationships, objects, activities, circumstances, how I was viewed; if people liked me, I liked me. If someone didn’t like me, I didn’t like me. A people pleaser, pleasing so many other people that sometimes it feels like I’m an enemy to myself.

I’ve never really been able to figure out how to break away from this codependent mentality. It’s difficult, especially without knowing where to start.

This codependency, which I didn’t know how to describe at the time, affected a relationship I was in. It was a start-stop relationship I knew I needed out of, but I didn’t know how/was afraid to be alone/didn’t want to make things worse. When the relationship was going good it was great, but anytime I felt upset about something, I would hold it in/downplay how I felt. I was afraid to speak up for fear of potentially making a situation worse, but I didn’t know how to speak the words on the tip of my tongue because of that fear/codependency. Feelings would be held inside. Whenever an argument ensued, they would come bursting out all at once. Eventually that relationship ended; I just couldn’t continue on anymore; I was exhausted.

Sometimes I feel so alone in a crowded room. There will be so many people: friends, people I’ve known for years, people I don’t know, all greeting & acknowledging me, yet I feel lonely. I keep the smile on my face to hide it so no one will ask me what’s wrong; I’d probably just brush it off to not worry anyone. I keep my camera on me, what people know me best for, to act as both a shield and escape route for the things I feel inside. The photography keeps me going, but sometimes even that loosens its grip on me and I drown in my own thoughts. It feels like I've given so much of myself away. So much time wasted. So much of me wasted.

I’m not sure where I was going with all of this; I’m just putting these thoughts into words before they get buried down deep. Perhaps as a start to self-actualization and happiness. Happiness I can find within myself and not reliant on so many other things.

04/24/2025

When I was younger, I used to have a recurring dream of running in place right outside my childhood home. I would try with all of my might, but I couldn’t move even an inch forward. My body felt weightless and free, almost like I could fly, yet something kept me grounded. Always the same dream, always outside of my parent’s home, always just before the golden hour of sunset.

Running in place.

The dream, it felt so real. It was so vivid. I was never quite sure just how to interpret it. The amount of times I have dreamt this dream numbers into the few dozen, but I think I’m only now beginning to understand it, many years later, as I look back on my life.

I believe the dream was telling me that I need to keep myself rooted in the values my parents have instilled in me, and that it took place outside my childhood home to remind me that I cannot run away from family, and that they will always be there to keep me grounded. As for the golden hour sunset, my dad said something to me not too long ago about him and my mom: “we’re in the sunset years of our life.”

I would wake up from this dream always in a state of confusion, but I don’t think I’m confused anymore. I’m not sure what caused me to think about this dream; I can’t even remember the last time I dreamt it. Nowadays when I dream, I always wake up with an intense headache.

Now more than ever the interpretation of this dream needs be applied to my life. I’m at an age where responsibilities, heritage, legacy, last name, and family, is surely falling upon my shoulders.

04/12/2025

I named my smartphone AnxietyPhone 15 Pro because all it does is cause me anxiety.

Social media apps.
Typing indicators.
Read messages.
Unread messages.
Ghosted messages.
Active statuses.
Last seen online at…
Suggested persons to message.
Doomscrolling.
Notification sounds.
Red dots.
Vibrations.
Notification bubbles with numbers that only seem to increase.

All that and much more only fills me with anxiety, dread, and discouragement. I try to turn all of this stuff off, but there’s always something that breaks through to burden my psyche.

I pick up my phone to check a single thing. 30 minutes later I haven’t put my phone down, and that single thing I went to check ballooned into something indescribable to the point where my entire day and mood have been ruined.

I then log off just to log back on, only to log back off to log back on again. It is a maddening cycle. It becomes too much at times.

A lot of the time I think I’d be better served with a dumbphone. At least that would be smart enough to not bother me so much, but then I imagine FOMO would kick in. I’d probably name my dumbphone the FOMOphone.

03/11/2025

I walked into an event one day that I was booked to photograph. As I began to traverse the hallway, I came across a picture that looked all too familiar. I stopped and stared at it for a few seconds until I came to the realization that it was a photo I had taken. Then another photo of the same manner just a couple of feet away. And another. Something was different about them, however: they were all printed out on canvas and placed into frames. Tears began welling up in my eyes as I stared down the hallway adorned with my photos. Somehow these pictures, just a thumb scroll away on a phone screen, had new life in them the likes of which I had never appreciated before, and the sight of it reverberated within my soul.

The first picture is one of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken, and to see it printed out and displayed in this manner was like seeing it for the first time.

I don’t really take the time to look back on my photos and the work I have done over the years. I’m usually just focused on the “next event” after I finish an album and send it off to the client. Every now and then, though, someone tells me how much a photo I’ve taken means to them, or how it impacted them. It doesn’t really hit me until I’m at home in solitude with time to process it. Then I tell myself that just maybe I am doing something right.

Looking at this hallway of photos lets me know I should continue on this path.

08/28/2024

I used to be homophobic. A mentality derived from elementary/middle/high school peer pressure, the culture at the time, television, religion, other people telling me “that’s wrong”, having a closed mindset, and a host of other reasons.

I’m not sure when the change happened within me. Maybe it was from being the resident photographer at Spiral Dance Bar, an LGBTQ+ nightclub, and seeing how happy people could be when they are free to feel attracted to whoever they feel attracted to. Maybe the change started way back when was in the Army, and seeing so many different lifestyles across the world. Whatever the case, over the years, I became accepting of others, and learned to see outside of myself.

During my tenure at Spiral, I was able to see that people just wanted to live their lives and experience a Human connection. I loved to capture that: people interacting with each other, laughing, making eye contact, dancing, hugging, kissing; it all looked so beautiful to me. As I continued photographing each weekend at Spiral, my mindset and my photography grew hand-in-hand. I became less interested in photographing “for fun”, and more interested in photographing things to understand what they mean in my life. I still photograph in this manner today.

I don’t know what kind of person I would be today if it weren’t for photography, and from being the resident photographer at Spiral. Would I still have that same immature mindset that I had back then? Would I have ever grown outside of myself? I’m glad I am the person that I am today. I’m all the better for it.

04/10/2024

There is a park close by me that I would frequent over the years where I would go to meditate. A bit of an ambiguous term, but I liked to just sit at the edge of the fishing dock there and to listen to the water splash against the wooden pillars; the sound of the wind rustling through the trees; the birds chirping. I liked to watch the ripples in the water, and sometimes I would catch myself just staring out into the distance. Those were very calming moments for me.

That dock is no longer there. It was completely torn down by the city Parks & Recreation Department, replaced with concrete Jersey barricade slabs at the top of the shoreline where the stairs leading down to the dock used be. They probably had every reason to tear it down. It was there long before I entered this world, so maybe the structure was rotting away underneath the water and posing a safety hazard.

Regardless of the reason, I was sad to see it gone. I remember having a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach when I had seen it was no more. When I looked over the barricades, all I saw was a steep drop into the water, dead vegetation, dirt, and a wealth of trash. The beauty that I found in that area wasn’t there anymore, and a tear came to my eye. It wasn’t a place for meditation anymore, and it has been looking that way for a couple of years at this point.

One afternoon, while the dock was still up, I was driving home from work and noticed the clouds in the sky, and felt compelled to go to the dock. In my mind’s eye, I knew exactly what I would witness before I even arrived. Once I got to the dock, my eyes saw what mind had seen. The sun was shining brightly, the clouds were formed perfectly, and the water was undisturbed, casting a mirror image of the sky. It was just me there to witness the splendor of it all. This picture captured only a small fragment of time, but the experience I had at that moment transcended anything I had ever seen before.

I’ve captured a lot of photos here, all reminding me of how it used to be. I wish I could find the beauty in this place again.

04/06/2024

I used to have a previous IG page. I had all the likes I could ever need. The thousands of followers. Endless notifications. That page has long since been deleted. I’m glad it’s gone.

Social media can be a mental health killer. I used to disregard all the info about social media use and mental health, never thinking anything detrimental could ever happen to me, until it did. Then I understood. The constant need for validation from a single thumbs up; comparing myself to others; thinking I wasn’t good enough, and would never be; social media affecting a relationship I was in. It was maddening.

I went through a period of depression lasting for years. I never told anyone. Maybe I was too proud and didn’t want to be seen as weak. Never went to therapy; it’s difficult for me to really open up to anyone, and typically find myself just short of showing how I’m feeling. So I had to find an avenue that would allow me to express myself and my state of mind. Photography was that therapist, in a sense, and allowed me to talk without having to use my words.

I took this photo some years ago after a breakup happened, and also when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. When I posted it, everyone loved it. I hated that everyone loved it. It was probably one of the most “liked” photos with the most “engagement”. Comments like “this should be framed”, “this could win awards”, “you should submit this to publications.” Unbeknownst to people, it was a photo showing a reflection of my depression that had been building up at that time.

Today, I’m grateful for being in a better place mentally, and that I was able to escape a seemingly inescapable, vicious cycle I was part of. I have my ups and downs, but I feel stronger today than I ever have been. I’m continually working on myself. I talk more. I journal. I put myself out there. My social media use has changed drastically. Certain things just don’t matter to me anymore. And I’m all the better for it. Looking back on this photo, it reminds me that the rain doesn’t last forever.

04/06/2024

Hi. It’s me. After an extreme hiatus away from this social media platform, I feel ready to reintroduce myself to it.

I have amassed over 100,000 photos over the 11 years I’ve been doing event photography, and people have seen only 1% of it. I want to use this platform to showcase some of my personal favorite photos I’ve taken. Photos that hold a profound meaning for me. Photos I look back on and sometimes think “I can’t believe I actually took that one.” Photos I’m proud of. Perhaps by doing so, it will give you a glimpse into my life and the things I like.

I appreciate everyone who has ever shared any of my photos throughout my photographic journey, and all of the kind words you all have said to me personally and on your posts. The prestige isn’t anything I sought to attain; I just wanted to share my passion with whoever would receive it, and to keep memories alive. I’m appreciative of the connections we’ve made.

Thank you.

06/23/2023

Last weekend, I was contracted to photograph Ourspace - 517‘s Juneteenth Festival in REO Town. I had an amazing time photographing the event. Check out the photos here:

517 new items · Album by Kendall Lartigue