08/13/2024
35.
feels like a really significant birthday for some reason. not sure why. maybe I feel like an actual adult all the sudden? let’s assess.
I’ve been married for 13 years to the most steadfast, patient, wise, and gentle human I know. he is truly my best friend and the most involved and present father. I also get to watch him be exactly that to his students. so proud of this incredible man.
I have 3 little boys — 6, 4, and almost 2. I wasn’t the girl that dreamed of her wedding or kids but when I did speak of kids, I always said I wanted a bunch of boys. and now that is my life. it’s beautiful chaos.
I spend my days chasing these little boys around (grateful to be healthy enough to do so) and cultivating their creativity, encouraging them, correcting and teaching them, focusing on the fact that they are children and attempting to keep myself aware of that.
I get to homeschool those little boys — which is both so fun and so hard. I second guess myself nearly daily and pray that I am doing them justice. we’re committed to this process while giving ourselves and them so much grace. (I fail often)
I get to work as an ER nurse and a photographer — 2 things I’ve worked really hard to achieve. 2 things I deeply enjoy and that I believe matter.
I have the greatest community of family and friends around me that make me feel so valuable and so loved. I am honored to love them.
and what holds it all together is my faith in Him who is greater than I and the fact that I have been in therapy for the last 3 years. while this life is deeply meaningful, authentic, and beautiful — its also hard. as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized some things. one main thing being “life is hard for everyone” even if some of us make it look effortless. my eyes well up just typing that. it’s not easy, for anyone.
therapy literally keeps me sane. apart from the fact that my counselor is a LITERAL GOD SENT ANGEL — to be validated, understood, known, accepted, and encouraged by an impartial party IS invaluable. I’d be a puddle on the floor without it.
thank you to one of my best friends for these beautiful photos of my family in one of our favorite places — so grateful for you!