09/08/2026
Sometimes, life is just hard.
Not because it went wrong, not because it's unfair... but because things happen that are difficult to navigate, too much all at once, or just the natural course of life knocks you off balance for a bit.
Photography has been a self care activity for me for the last few years. I love that it forces me to slow down when life gets too busy, or complicated. When I feel like I just need a moment to breathe. It's an excuse (as if one is needed) to get out into the wild, and pay close attention to the details around me. When I have my camera in hand, a leaf that I would normally pass by without a thought becomes a specimen to be admired. I get a unique look at the big picture AND all the details in it. It's my refuge for rebalancing and reconnecting... with myself, with nature, with my Creator.
I have not taken any photos to speak of since May, when my son graduated from high school. I struggled to get through the editing process on those photos, because even that... something I absolutely love, where someone I absolutely adore is the focus... was too much to ask of my overwhelmed brain.
Shortly after my son's graduation, my dad (who has been managing a diagnosis of parkinsons disease) began to decline in health.
He passed on August 2 of this year.
To say that life has been overwhelming and complicated would only scratch the surface. Everything changed, crisis ensued, everything intensified, family pulled together... we worked, we cared, we lost, and now we grieve. And this is the way life works. It's the natural order of things. I understand this. But readjusting is HARD. Grief is HARD. And explaining it... even harder.
This week, I had the pleasure of taking up the invitation to spend some time on the property of a family member whom has become a stronghold and beloved brother to me in this wild process. It's the first time all season I've had the camera out of the bag for my own agenda, and it's a new (to me) camera to boot. I'm not as comfortable with this camera because I haven't had the bandwidth to practice on it. I'm out of practice anyway... So no. These are not spectacular photos. They aren't the caliber of quality that I've come to expect from myself. Many are out of focus, the shutter speed was not fast enough, the lighting wasn't quite right. I'm working with an updated editing program that I haven't figured out just yet, so the edits are not quite right either. But that really wasn't the point this time, was it?
Although these are not my best work, and I know I can do better, I'm mighty proud of these. I took the time I needed for myself. I gave myself grace. I threw the idea of perfection away for something simpler... just to get back out there. To try to remember to see the details. To get lost in the wonder of the trees and the life of the river. And to create a new baseline to grow from. Because after the death of my father, nothing is the same. The world did not stop spinning, but it certainly seemed to reset. So... here we go. Finding a new normal. We have to start somewhere...
