10/25/2020
𝑅𝑒𝒻𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓎: Blog Post
October 23, 2020
Yesterday, I read a quote that instantly brought tears to my eyes. “They say the truth of a man’s character is found in the eyes of his wife.” Close your eyes and let that one sink in….
“𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕥𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 𝕞𝕒𝕟’𝕤 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕗𝕖.”
I know this to be true. A woman who is well-loved has strength in her eyes. A woman who is seen and appreciated has peace and unmistakable joy in her eyes. I found myself wondering; “What are the signs that a man is seen and loved by his wife? Am I doing enough of these things? Am I showing my sons how they should be loved and honored by their own wives in my daily life? Am I showing my daughters how to treat their husbands like kings?
As I began to look for quotes to support this post, I found hundreds of quotes about how a “real man” loves his woman. Do you know how many quotes I found about a woman loving her husband? Zero…. Yes, you read that right. I went to all my favorite quote feeds and websites…nothing. I attribute this to a society that has historically equated men in love with weakness. Men who share “feelings” and get emotional…. maybe who tear up on occasion, are weak. I am so happy to raise my sons in a world that is beginning to recognize the fallacy of this false masculinity. I am also incredibly thankful that my husband is teaching them to be men of strength and honor as well as to be men who embrace their own emotions in the knowledge of “what I can understand, I can grow from”. On that note, here are some signs that I believe you will see in a man well-loved and seen by his woman.
I would say that the original quote is also true of men…. The truth of a woman’s character is found in the eyes of her husband. His eyes smile and he holds peace in his face, because not only has he found a home for his love, but he has come to understand the importance of home for a man. Men who are seen and well-loved are eager to go home, they are openly affectionate to their wives, they speak of their wives with admiration and tenderness and they are excited about sharing life with their wives. Men who are loved are not only comfortable sharing their feelings with their wives, but they seek their wife’s advice and value her opinion.
Our husbands are not our children. They do not need us to micromanage them and emasculate them. Maybe your husband is messy, maybe he’s not good with money or maybe he works too much. I would encourage you to remember that we are all human. Women can be overly emotional, distant and just as flawed as we perceive our men to be at times. I would also encourage you to remember that what you sow into your marriage day in and day out is inevitably what you’ll reap.
“𝕎𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕤, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕦𝕤.”
― 𝕂𝕖𝕟 𝕃𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕖
The only thing that you can truly control in a given situation is yourself. Bring your best self to the table every day as much as you possibly can. Remain tender-hearted and teachable. Get out of your mom zone (if you have children) and be the woman he fell in love with. Remember to be his lover and his friend. I promise you that this is just as important for you as it is for him.
Tell your husband that you appreciate how hard he works for your family and how much you enjoy his company. Make it a priority to show appreciation in words and in action. Children grow up and move out. If you are one of the fortunate women who have been given the opportunity to grow old with your husband, nurture your love every day in some way. What we sow today, we reap tomorrow.
“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
