02/11/2022
For me this February marks fives years drug-free. Free from suicidal thoughts. Free from the lies that said “this is the only way your social anxiety can be lifted so you can be comfortable and friendly around others to live a normal life”. Free from the dangerous, life-threatening situations I found myself in. It’s only by God’s grace I’m not locked behind bars or buried in a grave. It sounds morbid, but it’s the truth.
My drugs of choice started with ma*****na which was the gateway to pain killers. I remember wanting help but not wanting help at the same time. Getting help=sobriety and no sensations. Not getting=experiencing the euphoric effects. A euphoric experience sounds kind of sounds lovely, right? In reality I was numbing pain which is deeper and more serious. Pain from depression, neglect, heartbreak..you name it. That euphoria was a false paradise. I remember being little and thinking I will never touch drugs ever in my life! Fast-forward and there I was, a teenager who couldn’t imagine a life where I wasn’t using regularly, scheming/imagining how I can fit them into the routines of adult life.
I filled the void, the emptiness, the desperation for love through God. I believe there’s no way more powerful here on earth that can cure addiction. My efforts here are not to undermine other people’s stories who overcame addiction outside of God. Instead I’m sharing my personal experience, letting you know how mighty he is. How powerful. Strong. Divine. Glorious. He works wonders and my life is proof that if you’re currently suffering, there’s a solution out there and his name is El Shaddai, The Almighty, all-sufficient God. (Part 1/2 - caption continued in comments)
