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Happy Dr.Talha, Multan (2026)

09/05/2026

My love my life my partner....extremely grateful for you to come into my life and bring your beautiful colors of life with you...all the dullnes aur thoughts of loneliness have juat evaporated from my mind ....thank you so much ♥️

05/02/2024

There are things in life that are out there just to see if you could move pass them or not ! And being the champ in Falling and Rising again and again, i still have some damages that i cannot move on from even if i want to!

me, my heart, my mind and my soul all know that its far too long to just sit fealing crushed under the glimmering dreams of what could or would have been.....but they still wont let it go!

02/08/2023

•Part 2•
NEVERTHELESS, today, i feel like im ready to move forward with my life! ofcourse i do have alot of regrets and i still blame myself for everything... but my eyes dont get wet anymore, i dont get frustrated or angry anymore, im also starting to get my appetite back, even i though i know i might get fat again but stress starving for 2 3 days to an extent of getting stomach ulcers followed by oral ulcers follwed by skin ulcers wasnt doing any good to me either, id never thought such day will ever come but food doesn't excite me anymore. I ve let myself "feel" and for better or worse im hoping it takes me to somewhere better!
Being the post traumatic shut-in person i am, in all my pitting and willowing this thought crossed my mind, that if i move on to the next world today will anyone come to my funeral? or will even they know? will anyone care to notice my absence? no one actually knows what im upto nowadays...how i have really been, i guess im now ready to go back my circles, to again start meeting people! let those people whom i said ill ALWAYS be there if you'll ever need me know that im still here for you!

I am starting to make peace with knowing that i was sent into thia world to be alone ! rather putting my perspective spin on it, i was sent here to spread all those things that i am devoid of ,to all those people who come into my life, anyone in need of it !

Life is really a roller coaster ride, after id lost everything bit by bit....and pitted on myself, the 12th day i just had it enough!
i started to go roam around hospital to hospital people to people, in search of a job ...tbh i didn't know what i was searching for, but a after just 3 days of grind and one short trip that i told no one, i lined up 6 to 7 interviews. In just a few days. I ALHAMDULILLAH got 5 job offers, 2 from Islamabad and 3 from multan. the best thing being, no one other than me had any to do with it. sure i got help from people who knew what kinda doctor i am, but in this era of 'safarish' and 'rishwat' i didn't need them...i was enough on my own!

-"Do you know why GOD, the all knowing, the omnipotent, makes you fall?"
-"why!?"
-"So you may learn to stand right back up!"

30/07/2023

What is Sadness?
According to Psychology, its an emotional state characterized by feelings of unhappiness and low mood. a normal response to situations that are upsetting, painful, or disappointing.

They also say there are 5 stages of sadness/grief!
Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression-Acceptance

In a very long time , as far i can remember i never actually went through these stages !
My only method of coping was to just bottle everything up and hope that my ignorance and avoidance will make it all just go away!

This time, tbh this time the bottle just straignt up broke.
and i was left with no other option but to FEEL! How would you feel when you're already trying you're best to put all you're heartache and headache in bottle and close off the lid, then one night you go through a trauma that makes you feel like you'll loose your life the next second!
i ignored all the negative emotions, but now after many years i would be focusing on tasks and job, and about each and everyday whenever ill be driving back home or trying to relax & out of nowhere i would feel something wet coming out of my eyes!
ofcourse i couldn't tell this to anyone.
what kinda 'man' i would be, who's so weak that cant control his emotions!?
so i would just ignore everything when im on job and when I'll get home I'll let myself feel!
tbh 'feeling' is more tiresome then bottling it all up, you'll be having all these types of "pain" 'feelings' and you cant say about it to nobody, you certainly cant show them to anyone or they'll pity on you or worse judge you!

As marlin said,"if i had known i would feel such pain, i would have never wished to be born with a hear".

•PART ONE•

16/07/2023

WHAT IS LOVE ?
In my 26 years of life, i never understood the complexity of this thing called "love"!
many people have their own definations !
there are many who have their own kind of love !

for me, as someone so devoid of my kind of love my whole life, for someone whose now gotten alot better in facing rejection and bottling it all up so well!
for someone who doesn't believe in words but the actions of a person and what feelings and consequences do those actions bring!
For me, The word 'love' has only meant one thing "sacrifice".
putting it in simpler terms "putting other's need, before one's self".

i know that you might judge me for such ideals!
i know i might be wrong ...and i accept your opinions as you are allowed to have your own!
but for someone whose always all his life been the 'giver'.
its hard for me to abandon my opinions, beliefs and ways of living in an instant !

I once gave up on this notion once...someone got me to dream about this once again...that when everything is said and done... we'll be old and have this poetic conversation ...the"late fragment"

-"AND DID YOU GET WHAT YOU WANTED FROM THIS LIFE, EVEN SO?"
-"I DID"
-"AND DID YOU WANT?"
-"TO CALL MYSELF BELOVED, TO FEEL MYSELF BELOVED, ON THE EARTH".

09/07/2023

what is a "traditional man" or a "conventional man" ?
In mine and my friends heated discussion on our existential crisis this topic came up!

A traditional/Conventional man is someone who is the provider of the house ! A "man" strong in his battles against financial conundrums that if he will do anything or any kind of job that gives him more money. A "man" whose sole purpose of living is to bring value that defines its existence! A "man" that lives by the rules of his own making, assuring the survival of his own and the ones he's carrying responsibilities of ! A "Man" who knows that money brings value and power shown by luxury inclusive of man power, assets and women!

but im not that man ! my experiences giving me perspectives have made me a different

Im the opposite kind of man!
someone who knows about his weakness!
someone who knows he is valuable knowing that he there's a lot of difference in 'money' & 'wealth'. A kind of man that doesn't restrict himself with the belief a 'man' is the provider of the house and 'women' its household runner !
Im someone whose going to be at the top of the mountain claiming to be its all mine and of who supported me throughout my battles until the war was won!
i dont know if ill have kids in the future, i might have to adopt but ill help them conquer there own mountains
psychology says "superiority & inferiority complex" are two flip sides of a coin. AND IM THE PRIME EXAMPLE. when i enter any room, the aura of self esteem and over confidence dripping around is felt by everyone! And my inferiority complex hits hard when around my loved ones, as if all i want is to just help them in there endeavous!

it is what it is!

so yeah, ive not been here
i went through a brutal 'swing and a miss'
as i was mentally recovering from it , i was held hostage for 3 hours by 20 goons carrying guns with a dead body of a patient i was trying to bring back to life.
Gave everything into my job!
lost my job !
lost opportunities of jobs in multan and outside !
went into existential crisis
had deep talks with myself, friends and family!
Booked my OET for Ireland/Maldives/bali
things are starting to get hopeful age Allah reham kare ga

30/05/2023

I may have not been blessed with many Good moments of my life but i am blessed with a mind that tries to remember all those few ones.

like...... the moment i passed my car liscene exam, the moment when i realized i living my life way to fast for sorrow to catch me, the moment someone asked me if i could be with them even for a little while, thoses moments when i thought i had real friends, the moment i realized i was enough on my own...having enough self esteem and confidence to conquer the world under my feet, the moment someone still dear to me asked "if i was the one trying to take care of others, who's there to take care of me?"....funny thing....till today i dont have the answer to that, the moment i realized what i wanted to do as a Doctor!
the moment someone just took out their time to celebrate my birthday,
the moment when a friend went away to Islamabad always put en effort to meet me when came back, the moments where my Mos/Pgr and seniors acknowledged me and wanted me for them! and last but hopefully not the least those moments i spent in snowy mountains!

and i guess thats why my mind always tries to take me on nostalgic trips whenever my introversion takes over, thats why i cling on to the things i love the most, hoping present and future may bring me love and happiness in the essence of the past good moments!

15/05/2023

The moment i realized im a beach person !

i used to very much like sunsets ...but here ...i fell in love them !

The fresh cool breeze touching your skin, the amount of shear peace...like rhe world just isnt important anymore!...

and even though i got to do many things in my short trip to karachi....im glad i passed my most of the time juat sitting at this very spot saw the sun dropping from above my head and drowing in the sea!

13/05/2023

time and time again ive realized....only you are responsible for your happiness!....not your friends,not your family ...and i guess not even your spouse...cuz in the end its always gonna be only you !

i guess then the only thing you can do is live .... happiness might find you...might not!

p.s SD card broke so now posting the shots i took last year on my trip to karachi.... many more shots of seaside coming ..

29/04/2023

I have been to Islamabad more times then any other place that can be called a city !
and even though the reasons for going their everytime might be different...but the constant thing that remained was

and no matter how many times ive been there....each and everytime they have been the ones that were able to satiate my hunger!

Happy Dr.Talha

09/05/2026

05/02/2024

02/08/2023

30/07/2023

16/07/2023

09/07/2023

30/05/2023

15/05/2023

13/05/2023

29/04/2023

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