Robert Grimm

04/11/2026

29/10/2026

Vatican City, Rome, Italy, 29 October 2084. The Holy See is excited to announce the canonization of burglarbane St Robert. Finding himself in the shockingly criminal environs of the German capital, he led a tireless fight against petty crime, protecting cellars and their hidden treasure. Seeing St Robert chase wannabe burglars down Berlin’s nighttime streets became a common enough sight. But instead of blaming the miscreants, St Robert always reminded anyone who would listen of the structural inequalities creating the need for such malfeasance. It eventually triggered a massive redistribution of wealth from the superrich to the people and a subsequent restoration of democracy.

19/10/2026

asked me what I like least and most about them. I answered. And I worked for them for a year or so. So I know what I’m talking about.

15/10/2026

The loneliness of the royal house

25/09/2026

Army of me!

17/09/2026

After was arrested for the heinous crime of singing in public, she escaped Iran and settled in Berlin. It took her some time to find her own voice, but if she continues producing songs like her most recent ones, which are funny, biting, sweet, sexy, and occasionally blasphemous or obscene, I predict a fast rise to pop stardom. Her older material, unfortunately, is a bit boring and of the rock variety, which is why I listened to my growling stomach, left early, and had a nice Dǒner.

Her more recent material is far more playful, hiphoppish, with infectious Middle Eastern bits and fearless lyrics. One line that imagined Mohammed and Jesus hooking up, threw her off herself, laughing at her own naughtiness. But the song I love most is Passport, in which she attacks Germany’s racist immigration authorities, which have left her in stateless limbo for eight years now.

As her comments on stage made clear she isn’t a fan of the country. But the song demonstrates that she has successfully internalized a sentiment shared by some of this country’s greatest, including Berthold Brecht: Bite the hand that feeds you. ✊

15/09/2026

Schlagsahne just gained the most German of all traffic signs, threatening parked vehicles with towing. Alas, I do need to update the graphic because the particular threat menacing my gallery aren’t cars but all kinds of bikes left by people right in front of the windows. After being met with unbridled entitlement when politely asking people not to do this, I am resorting to this most passive aggressive of Germans’ many passive aggressive ways of regulating the behavior of others, the Verboten sign. I’m kind of looking forward to calling the tow service for a bike… Let’s call it an art performance… 😈

11/09/2026

Schlagsahne, now also a little prickly!