06/03/2026
Beauty In Becoming
⚠️ Warning: This post mentions mental health struggles, including s3lf harm and su!c!de.
Butterflies have always been really special to me.
In Grade 3, we did a butterfly project where we raised caterpillars and watched them transform. I remember being completely in awe of it. The only word I could think of was beautiful.
I didn’t know then how much that would stay with me.
At 12, I entered a very dark season with depression. In my early teen years, I struggled with self harm, and between 14 and 18 I walked through some of the hardest years of my life.
For a long time, I couldn’t see beauty anywhere, especially not in myself. I ended up trying to take my life, twice.
At 18, life was still very heavy. My parents had gone through a messy divorce, and I was removed from my home. Everything felt like it was falling apart.
But even in that, something slowly began to change.
Not because life got easier, but because I started noticing small pieces of beauty again. In getting through each day. In healing little by little. In second chances. In moments I used to overlook. And slowly, I began to see it in myself too.
Looking back now, I can see God was with me through all of it, even when I didn’t feel Him.
Today my life looks very different. I have a loving husband, a beautiful son, and a life I never thought I would get to live. I bake, create, take photos, and try to find joy in the small things!
This March I also celebrated 8 years free from self harm!
When I see butterflies now, I’m reminded of how beautiful creation is, how beautiful life is, and how beautiful I am!
There really is beauty in becoming!
Life can become so much more beautiful than it feels in the hardest moments. If you’re in a heavy season right now, please don’t lose hope. Healing takes time, but it is possible, and there is still beauty ahead of you.
If you need help, please reach out to someone you trust. You don’t have to walk through it alone. There are people who care about you and want to help.
