06/09/2025
It's incredible. Yesterday I just realised one thing. It took the whole life of mine to heal myself from the wrong life settings and fix my mindset, to combat most of my self-doubts, low and depression feeling, thoughts that I'm not enough and don't deserve happiness and qualitative life....
All of these were due to close to zero self-esteem, bullying at school, ignorant and cold parents, not feeling safe anywhere, even in my family. No support. And certainly not understood by no one. But judged, criticised, expected and compared instead. 😓
I never felt love. Never did pure genuine unconditional, before I met . Every year since we met my love goes deeper to her. Same intensity, but deeper. More respect, patience, admiration to each other we feel. 🤲🏼🤍
The photo of this post was taken by crew when I was participating in the DJ competition. My first expression was: wow... I am actually beautiful. I've got a nice smile, my face is not distorted by unreleased emotions, my eyes are sparkling. ✨️
I can now say that I almost finished the job. It feels like 10% left to fix some more stuff in my head. But all in all it's looking away much better than it used to be. I now want to teach my son how to be a man, an individual and I will very careful with his personality, as I don't want to ruin his self-esteem, neither him to suffer as I did. I read somewhere that it takes 3 generations to fix mental problems. So Christopher and Luna will be alright now. 💙