03/12/2022
It‘s been two years since my first panic attack.
We were just starting our 5-day wilderness trip in Finland with sledge dogs. The energy was so intense, the barking of dogs so loud, and the tension from holding the dogs and keeping them in their tracks so unanticipated, that my brain stopped functioning and I had a panic attack.
My sensitive nervous system couldn‘t deal with the energy and noise. The pain in my chest felt like a heart attack and I had never experienced anything like that before.
Everyone, who knows me, will be surprised that I was literally incapable of speaking the entire day.
I went in and out of crying - not knowing what was happening.
Unable to ask for help because we had 5 days without electricity, running water and medical assistance ahead of us - and I had no idea what I had just experienced.
The next day, my anxiety grew - because I anticipated what was coming. The panic attack was worse on day 2. I had no strength to keep the dogs in order, I was weak mentally and the stinging pain in my heart with the intense pounding made me gasp for air.
That’s the moment I thought: F**k, I am having a panic attack.
That night I talked to my family and the guide and explained what I had experienced. They were saying all the right things to make me feel comfortable, but I was unable to keep myself calm.
In the following three days, every day we went out to the dogs to get our tour started, the panic attack became worse.
On the last day, I was close to passing out.
To this day, I often feel very alike symptoms in moments of extreme stress and anxiety. Now I know what it is.
I am telling you this story, so anyone of you who has experienced something similar knows, that you are not alone at all.
Panic attacks can have lots of different symptoms and this is what mine look like.
Take care of yourself, don‘t be scared to ask for help. Even if your family or friends or strangers don‘t understand, describe the symptoms and they will help you for sure ❤️
